The Calm before the Storm.

A personal reflection...

They say that it has to get worse to get better.

They were right!

March 2010 - April 2014

I still get flashbacks! 

I go into deep reflection mode and get emotional and teary!

I go quiet...

I'm teary writing this...

Even back then walhamdulilah I still got to do a two week KSC Easter Playscheme through the drama and went London for an evening workshop.

Only through God's will and Mercy did I make it through those two weeks in April.

God is Great!

April 2010 - I thought it was the beginning of 'The End'.

April 2014 - Am I still alive?

Wow, subhan'Allah - I still pinch me to make sure it's real.

God is Great!

Everything is not what it always seems - especially on social media.

Don't be fooled by my 'khaapiness' on display.

There's a reason why I'm still alive and there's a reason why you are alive and reading this.

There's a reason why I do the personal and spiritual development work I do today.

Everyone is on a journey.

This journey is back to God.

This moment is all we have.

I promised that if I got better through my illness I would make each my moments count.

It's not funny being 'alive' and telling your family 'I might die and we need to prepare now' and trying to be ok with it all.

It's not funny sitting at hospital alone not taking your family with you so they won't be upset and getting those biopsies and stuff.

The Nurse: 'You're a brave girl!'

Me in my head: 'It hurts lady - it hurts! I just don't wana show you my tears!'

And yes I cried when I left that hospital!

It's not funny trying to fake smile at your nieces during the playscheme and lying to them; 'Don't worry - I'm ok - everything is ok!' And they know everything is not ok.

It's not funny seeing your Mama trying to be ok as she might lose her youngest and being brave.

Everyone is on a journey.

I know you have your story too.

It's ok if no one gets you - I get that all the time!

I'm misunderstood most the times!

Remember though Allah has put you here for a reason.

Be ok with that and do what you gotta do - even if no one gets you.

Coz we're all on a journey and it's all gona end soon.

Make the most of yours - make your moments count - as this moment is all we have...

I know I don't share this with y'all - but I am today - just so you get a glimpse into my world and maybe it gives you some soul therapy too.

Nadia x

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