Last Thursday my cousin brother was taken into hospital in an emergency as he threw up blood.

They put him on the machines straight away to ease the pain and so they can do scans.

On Friday at 5pm we got a phone call from his elder brother that he only has a few hours left.

We rushed to the hospital in a taxi and guess what nasheed was playing?

'Oh traveler you are here for a few years and the grave is your ultimate destination'.

I was shaking all the way from home to the hospital.

I had always heard about ICU but on Friday i experienced it for real.

I don't think i want to experience it again.

Well, not for a long while anyway!

We walked through the first double doors - me, my mum and dad and my nephew - and everyone was there.

My aunties, uncles, nieces, nephews, my cousins wife and kids - even extended family.

I hugged my niece and she said; 'Chacha (uncle) is leaving us.

His 11 year  old son was sitting next to her...quiet.

Walked through the second double doors and saw another family in another room leaving, crying.

Walked through the third double doors and the room was packed!

All i could hear was Surah Yaseen being recited loudly by my uncles and few other relatives reciting the kalima loudly.

I slowly walked forward....and there he was...on the bed....on the machines...

I grew up at my aunties house (khala) as a kid and my cousin brothers used to take me over.

I grew up as their little baby sister.

I was there at ICU for 7 hours and said my goodbyes.

I came home and tossed and turned all night.

At 7am my mum told me that he returned to Allah.

His heart went down and down and they switched the machines off and at 4am the Angel of Death took him.

Saturday was his Janazah and we sent him off.

He had nour shining from his face and he was smiling.

Over 100 people attended the burial and every single person praised his character and personality and continues to praise him.

Let my brothers death be a reminder for us all - because reminders benefit the believers and as humans we need constant reminders - we easily forget and get caught up in this life.

- He had been ill for 3 years and he left this world within 48 hours.

- He was scheduled for an appointment in London in 6 weeks for treatment yet his appointment with Allah came before that.

- He was the youngest of his brothers and his elderly mum is poorly. Yet his time came.

How many times have we heard of instant deaths when someone was absolutely fine and the next minute they're gone?

This teaches us that this life is not a guarantee for 100+ years.

We don't take anything with us except our deeds.

We don't even have to have an illness and our time could be up.

So let's ask ourselves;

* Am I praying all my 5 compulsory prayers on time?

* Am I spending time with the Qur'an daily?

* Am I doing dhikr and tasbee and keeping my tongue moist with the remembrance of Allah?

* Am I actively seeking knowledge and implementing it in my life?

* Am I learning about the rules and rites of life and death and everything in between?

Because the reality is that you and I don't know about all the rites and rules!

The reality is that we're living in ignorance and even in sin.

Even when we find out the rules and rites we actively choose to ignore it.

We listen to laws by man yet ignore those by Allah.

We don't actively seek to know so live in ignorance and sin.

We have no one to blame! No western illuminati masonicy conspiracy cult.

Nope! 

You and I are to blame!

Right now we seek Allah's forgiveness from our ignorance.

Right now we decide to seek knowledge, implement it and teach it.

Right now we prepare for our meeting with the Angel of Death.

Right now is when we decide to live on purpose with purpose.

If you've read this then now you're not in ignorance any more.

Now you decide which path to take.

Let's take the path which leads to Allah.

My cousin Ramzan was in his early 40's and leaves behind his elderly, poorly mum, brothers, nieces and nephews.

He also leaves behind a wife who is 35 years old and 5 children age 14, 11, 7, 6 and 5.

Please keep them in your duas as they are the ones whose life has changed forever....

A Personal Reflection

...It's a shame really as i thought we were really close friends and our souls were connected - really understood from the depths - and even though i deleted the numbers and messages, i had to go through my emotions to get here today. Can't believe i read this message today. But my friend is no longer who my friend used to be. And yes i have tried to contact and email many times. No response. It's ok now. I'm ready to heal and move forward. I'm extremely sensitive by nature and i only have a very few close ones - and my friends are my family - so that's why it hurts so much. So even though people say get over it - i'll deal with my emotions and then i'll be ready to heal now.

Now I'm ready!

Hope this helps you on your friendship journeys too...

What lessons do you learn from this for your own life? 

Comment below and let me know insha'Allah! :)

A personal reflection...

They say that it has to get worse to get better.

They were right!

March 2010 - April 2014

I still get flashbacks! 

I go into deep reflection mode and get emotional and teary!

I go quiet...

I'm teary writing this...

Even back then walhamdulilah I still got to do a two week KSC Easter Playscheme through the drama and went London for an evening workshop.

Only through God's will and Mercy did I make it through those two weeks in April.

God is Great!

April 2010 - I thought it was the beginning of 'The End'.

April 2014 - Am I still alive?

Wow, subhan'Allah - I still pinch me to make sure it's real.

God is Great!

Everything is not what it always seems - especially on social media.

Don't be fooled by my 'khaapiness' on display.

There's a reason why I'm still alive and there's a reason why you are alive and reading this.

There's a reason why I do the personal and spiritual development work I do today.

Everyone is on a journey.

This journey is back to God.

This moment is all we have.

I promised that if I got better through my illness I would make each my moments count.

It's not funny being 'alive' and telling your family 'I might die and we need to prepare now' and trying to be ok with it all.

It's not funny sitting at hospital alone not taking your family with you so they won't be upset and getting those biopsies and stuff.

The Nurse: 'You're a brave girl!'

Me in my head: 'It hurts lady - it hurts! I just don't wana show you my tears!'

And yes I cried when I left that hospital!

It's not funny trying to fake smile at your nieces during the playscheme and lying to them; 'Don't worry - I'm ok - everything is ok!' And they know everything is not ok.

It's not funny seeing your Mama trying to be ok as she might lose her youngest and being brave.

Everyone is on a journey.

I know you have your story too.

It's ok if no one gets you - I get that all the time!

I'm misunderstood most the times!

Remember though Allah has put you here for a reason.

Be ok with that and do what you gotta do - even if no one gets you.

Coz we're all on a journey and it's all gona end soon.

Make the most of yours - make your moments count - as this moment is all we have...

I know I don't share this with y'all - but I am today - just so you get a glimpse into my world and maybe it gives you some soul therapy too.

Nadia x

Happy Monday!

So, you know how my brain is always working non-stop right?

And you know how i'm always coming up with new ideas and brands right??

And you know how i just want to help you make positive changes in your life, live upon the deen and prepare for you best akhirah, right???

Ok, well, I've just launched a new private group on facebook and i'm now taking applicants and enrollment is open for UK & Global! :D

Click here to join; 'Nadia's Diamond Entrepreneur Academy'.

Make sure you bring pen and paper or your smartphones or online devices.

We're already on lesson 4!

I know, i'm such a geeky-nerd.

My family call me nerd-brain and my friends call me a learning-machine lol!

Anyways, see you inside the Diamond Academy now :)

Here's a video which was shared by one of our WBI fans.

It brought tears to my eyes.

And I know it will move you too.

It will mean to you whatever it needs to mean to you right now.

The video is a commercial for some financial company - but honestly just watch the video for what it is and then ask yourself; 'What am I doing to become and extraordinary human being?' Because you can - if you believe and you allow yourself - and give yourself permission to become extraordinary.

Remember our role models - Rasool-Allah and our Pious Predecessors.

Believe and become extraordinary and do something great for humanity! :)

Question: What lessons did you just learn from watching this video and what one thing will you do right now to move towards your extraordinary self?

Comment below and let us all know! :)