Category: Awareness

Spring into Action

8/4/2020

The season of spring brings new life all around us - as we awaken from deep winter slumber.

It's a season of hope. It's a season to dream again. It's a season to believe again.

However, this year - 2020, it's a different kind of spring.

With the pandemic engulfing the globe and many loved ones leaving our lives, it may seem like a season to run away and hide.

Instead of hope, there is wide spread fear.

Instead of belief, there is wide spread disbelief.

Instead of dreams, it's like a horrible nightmare.

I acknowledge what is happening right now.

I'm in it with you - we are all in this together.

The plans you and I had for 2020 have all suddenly been squashed.

There's a good few things I've learned over the years of heavy trials and tribulations.

I've overcome many obstacles and no doubt - as my Queen Mama says - I have so many more to see in my lifetime (and I so don't want to!).

On March 28, I turned 40, and I could sit here and write about all those trying times - but I've actually learned lessons and have grown so much that those trying times don't feel trying anymore - even though at times I was at the brink of suicide!

Yes, that deep!

It was deep then - I couldn't breathe - I didn't think I could make it through another day.

But I carried on and here I am today to bring that hope back into our lives.

After this post is published, there may be more negative news, and it may even be personal to us, but I know that it too shall come to pass and God is the best of all planners.

This life is temporary - we know this - and we all have to leave for our afterlife one day.

Today, here, we are going to learn from what is happening and the unexpected things that continue to unfold daily, and we are going to spring into action.

We are going to take responsibility for our lives and whilst taking the current circumstances into consideration, create a plan for us.

Life is going to continue and we can't die until it is our time.

That is the truest fact and reality of our existence.

We can succumb to the current situation or get a grip on ourselves so we stay focused and calm during the storm.

Our family needs us - my elderly parents (and cats) need me right now and I need to be in the right frame of mind to be able to handle the situation and what God sends my way.

Amidst the uncertainty, fear, confusion, I must stay strong and focused and so must you - you are needed right now and always - we surrender to God's Will and follow His commands and the guidance from our beloved Prophet Muhammad (pbuh).

We must get prepared.

‘Oh you who believe! Fear Allah and behave with taqwa. Let every soul consider what it has prepared for tomorrow. Allah is surely aware of everything you do.’ (Qur'an; 59:18)

We will be questioned on how we used this pandemic to grow, learn, and become better and stronger humans.

‘Call yourself to account before you are taken to account. And weigh your deeds before your deeds are weighed.’ (Hadith Tirmidhi)

You may be hurting or angry right now, so take a deep breath, release, and for a moment, believe again.

Just believe again, and read on.

Here are the 7 steps that I'm taking daily to spring into action this season and do my part.

Yes, I too have my down moments - and that will happen - it is part of our being and day to day life - however, we must become strong to handle our emotions and what is written to happen and when the down moments visit us - because they will!

I hope these 7 daily steps inspire and motivate you too.

1. Connection - to our Creator - God Almighty.

I start here.

We must start here - for, to God we belong and to Him is our return.

He sent us here - it was His Will and He will take us back when He decides He wants us back.

Everything is already written to happen - it's in the Al-Luh Mahfuz - the Preserved Tablet - which is with God.

So it was written, so it shall be done and God does not burden any soul more than what she or he can bear.

What do we learn from this?

Firstly, that everything is already written to happen and that is the decree.

It just is.

Take a moment to reflect on this - really connect deeply to God during this time and then carry it with you throughout your lifetime - long or short.

We are all in isolation mode now - quarantine - and we don't have work to rush to - we don't have assignments to hand in - we don't have exams to prepare for - but the current exam happing now.

You have all the time in the world right now that you didn't have before because of your daily responsibilities, to stop and really, truly, connect deeply with God.

It's what you always wanted, right?

You got it now!

Secondly, since God has assigned us all with our unique burdens (yes, they may be similar - but still unique to each of us), He already knows we can handle it!

It's His promise that we can handle it.

So, why did He (swt) give them to us?

To see how we respond - are we grateful or not - and to purify us and to strengthen us.

Take this time to connect with Him and let's work on our daily prayers and daily Qur'an recitation.

This will really shape us to being who we are meant to be and we can understand all that is happening and why it's happening and start living a life of purpose.

You won't never need to read another conspiracy theory again!

(And I'm a conspiracist!).

Make a daily plan for your daily worship and study and get to it right now - see and feel the difference it's make instantly.

Start small but start now.

It will really help you during this time.

2. Perspective - reframing

We each see, feel, and experience life from our own personal world view.

All that we have been going through has shaped up our perspective.

My perspective to this pandemic will be different to yours and yours different to your family and so on.

We respect each others life journey and try and understand each others perspective.

Reframe what is happening around you and see if you can give it another meaning - a meaning more positive.

If we continue to keep ourselves stuck in, 'Why is this happening' and look for the negative answer, we will find it.

Do you need to get healthier? Eat healthier? Reconnect with God? With family? With your purpose here? Who you are? Need to slow down from the race of life?

What other meaning could you give to this which is more beneficial and positive for you right now?

It's there - if you seek it - and if you want it - it's there.

3. Mindset

Affirm health and healing to yourself.

The more negative we consume - the more our immune will weaken - and the more susceptible to illness and dis-ease.

Yes, it does all start in the mind and with our thoughts.

What thoughts are running in your mind right now?

Are they helping you or making things worse and causing anxiety and panic?

STOP - reframe - choose new thoughts.

You know I specialise in mindset transformation. I took on a challenge for myself back in 2015 to start reprogramming my mindset and heal myself from toxic thoughts and a toxic life.

On the outside I was achieving educational success but on the inside I was entertaining sad and negative thoughts which lead to sad and fabricated stories - which never existed - but in my mind they seemed wonderful.

Why did I do this?

Long story short - starts in childhood and we keep the tape playing in adulthood.

So, what thoughts are you going to choose? Those which bring life and healing to you or those that will keep you stuck and in unnecessary pain?

You have a choice right now to choose healthy and positive thoughts.

And YES still wash your hands and take the precarious and stay indoors!

4. Focus

What we focus on increases - simple!

So, following from the point above, really, what are you focusing on right now?

When I watched too much news and kept reading everyones stories on social media - which, my heart and soul goes out to them and I pray for them, I started getting nightmares.

It started affecting my sleep which led to my low energy during the day.

Only two and a half years ago, my family and I were victims of an armed robbery hostage.

My life completely changed forever.

I barely slept for 13 weeks after the incident.

I'm still not out of the incident completely - I still have trauma and nightmares and sometimes daytime trauma.

All this led to my ill health and weakened immune.

I know what to do to help myself out of it.

So, action point, change your focus.

Start with your home environment, your bedroom, your closet, your books - get spring cleaning - it's spring after all. Get rid off the clutter and start creating healthy energy around you. Get to the spring cleaning tasks you wanted to ten year ago, NOW!

Change your focus - change your life. You have a choice.

5. Pruning

Following from the above - as you clean up your physical environment - start pruning - just like plants and trees need pruning so they grow back healthier - we too need to start decluttering and pruning - keep that which you need and get ready to donate or get rid off that which you do not need.

Mindset - prune your thoughts - cut those which are harming you and choose those which will serve you and bring healing.

Social media - God knows we need to cut back on this!!! It's time to prune what you read online and what you watch and listen to.

Look, even I read the daily breaking news and keep up to date with the basics.

Everything else?

Pruned!

Why?

Read #4 above again!

Get pruning and bring in healthier air and space around you and within you.

Again, results are instant!

6. Planning

So, our 2020 plan may have been disrupted, however, we still need to plan.

You had a plan of action for getting your food supplies and the sanitisers right?

Same again.

Review your 2020 plan - whether that's for your family life, your studies, your work, your career, you business, your health, your children, your pets - whatever is your flow right now, review your plan and taking current situations into consideration, rewrite that plan and schedule in what you need to for the next 3 - 6 - 9 months of 2020.

Personally, I'm a 3 month type!

So, although I'm reviewing the whole year for myself, I'm breaking my business goals down to the next 3 months each.

Also, Ramadan is literally upon us and I'm factoring that in too.

So, what can you review and replan?

There are things which you can take control of right now, so go ahead and grab your journal, diary, planner - just don't throw it out the window yet!

7. Action

And, ACTION!

Review all the points above and take action on each point where it resonates with you and which is important for you and your life right now.

If something pops up in your head which I haven't covered then rest assured that pop up is important to you and for you so taking the above as a guideline, take action on what you need to - make that plan - stay focused - start pruning - let in positive light and healing - allow only specific information that will help you in your immediate health and safety - stay and keep informed - keep things in perspective - see them as they are, not worse, envision the better, and above all - get and stay connected to the One Above!
...................

This is how I'm helping myself daily and my hope is that you too will help yourself to help your families to help all those around you.

If I don't follow the steps above then I'll be one messed up soul and THAT is not good for anyone - especially me!

Just like you, I too am in this with you and I don't want to be, but I'm here, you're here, we are all here.

Qadr Allah - God's Will - but He's also given us the ability to help ourselves.

Will you choose to help yourself?

Let me know in the comments below what resonated with you the most and what action steps you will take.

Sending you and your family lots of love, duas, light for your health, healing, safety, and protection.

Please do keep me and my family in your duas too.

Nadia.

[BTW, if we've just met for the very first time right now on this blog post article and you resonate with my words and you want to learn more about me and how I can help you, then I invite you to CLICK HERE to join my 'Inner Circle Tribe' and grab yourself some FREE Masterclass trainings to start learning from me right away. They'll really help you during these tough times. If you're a regular WBI'er then you're good for now - keep an eye out for the regular emails.]

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[monday motivation] 3 steps to achieve your dreams in life

9/12/2019

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Image found via Google Search.

We all have dreams we want to achieve in life.

Call them dreams, goals, intentions - but we each are either growing spiritually and emotionally daily, or we are dying.

(Apparently I stopped growing physically at age 14 so I'm stuck at 5ft3!).

Our dreams and goals keep us growing - growing and transforming daily into the person we are created to be, to live out our ultimate and unique purpose here in this world.

Many times though, our 'plans' don't go as, well, planned!

You may even, like me, have many and continuous falls and failures.

Failure and success is relative and it's defined how you want to define it.

Failure is also a lesson on how not to do something and what steps to take next.

Failure is also considered a redirection.

We plan, but God is the best of ALL planners.

However, as humans, we can easily lose hope.

It's our lifetime of conditioning and environment and all that's stuck deep in our subconscious that makes us lose hope.

But, if we are still pulled towards that dream, that goal, that intention - then what does it mean?

Should you quit or keep going?

Are you crazy to keep going?

Are you crazy to quit?

When we pray and make dua (supplication), listen to the response. It may not always come to us in a dream (as in, when we are asleep) but it may come to us as an instant idea, an epiphany, an ah-ha moment, something we read or hear, or even this feeling deep within.

This feeling is like complete peace and you just know.

Seriously, you just know, and you smile knowing it's going to work out - at the right time - and exactly the way it's meant to.

And you'll know if you're either meant to go for this dream or goal or something else will pop up - something even better - or completely different that you hadn't even imagined or thought of before.

Let's remind ourselves of the following words from the Qur'an and then we'll head into our 3 tips.

"Be sure We shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods, lives, and the fruits of your toil. But give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere. Those who say, when afflicted with calamity, 'To Allah we belong, and to Him is our return.' They are those on whom descend blessings from their Lord, and mercy. They are the ones who receive guidance." (2:155-157)

The verse above simply covers everything we need to know about life and our dreams and goals, and why things happen when they do. It's deep and in-depth in and of it self.

Really contemplate and reflect on it and see where it has or is currently applying in your life.

You'll discover answers to many of your questions!

And, here's 3 tips to help you in your dream/goal achieving journey:

1. Start and End - with your prayers, faith, hope, belief, and connection to God Almighty. Re-read the above verse from Surah Baqarah. Once we truly reflect on this verse, we will know that everything will work out for us. It may not go as we planned, but His plan is the best of all plans. Learn to surrender. So, make your plan, set the intention, take the action(s), and then turn it over to Him (swt). We need full reliance - tawakul - in Him.

Admittedly, this is hard for us humans, so that's why we have to continuously try and try and try again and try some more.

Read, watch, listen to inspirational and motivational content and learn from mentors and teachers - yes, even online - there's a vast library of information, knowledge, how-to's.

Just go to our library archive here on our website or visit our youtube channel - you'll find the inspiration and motivation to help you to keep believing and keep going.

2. Plan and Prepare - take some time out to create your plan for how you're going to achieve your dreams/goals/intentions - plan the practical steps you'll need to take. I know that many personal development teachers say, 'act first' - however, personally, I do my planning on paper, in my notebook, so I can see the structure in front of me and have a map to follow and help me navigate.

And then yes, of course, God is the best of all planners - and here is where we'll get tested. So, re-read the verse above and really connect with it deeply. Feel it to the core of your spirit.

Here also, reflect and write out why it is you want to achieve this dream or goal - what does it mean to you - your purpose with it - how it'll make you feel when you've achieved it. Take some time with this - it'll help you greatly.

3. Take Action - it's time to take the step towards achieving your dreams and goals now. In this step, we jump right in enthusiastically or have self-doubt and question our sanity, or both. Here is where we go back to step 1 and 2 to help us stay grounded. See how these three steps are interlinked?

When we take action, we'll be moving forward or we'll come upon a challenge. We may realise that our plan or the action steps are not quite working. So, what should you do? Go back to step 1 and then adjust step 2. It's the strategy that needs upgrading. You don't have to quit the goal or dream, but re-strategise and try something else.

These are the basic 3 steps. I use these too. I'm simplifying my life, and so, I'm keeping it simple with these three steps.

So, let me know, in the comments below, which of these steps resonates with you the most? Do you have more steps and inspiration to add for us all here? Are you stuck on any of the steps? Do you need help moving forward? If so, I'm here to help you with a mini one off VIP coaching session (ladies only). Just drop me a message below or contact me via the contact page and let's help you make your dreams and goals a reality now! :)

If you enjoyed today's post then do share it.

Nadia.

PS - here's a Hadith to further inspire and motivate you!

Ibn Abbas (May Allah be pleased with them) said: One day, I was riding behind the Prophet (SAWS) when he said, “O boy! I will instruct you in some matters. Be watchful of Allah (Commandments of Allah), He will preserve you. Safeguard His Rights, He will be ever with you. If you beg, beg of Him Alone; and if you need assistance, supplicate to Allah Alone for help. And remember that if all the people gather to benefit you, they will not be able to benefit you except that which Allah had foreordained (for you); and if all of them gather to do harm to you, they will not be able to afflict you with anything other than that which Allah had pre-destined against you. The pens had been lifted and the ink had dried up”. (At-Tirmidhi)

[BTW, if we've just met for the very first time right now on this blog post article and you resonate with my words and you want to learn more about me and how I can help you, then I invite you to CLICK HERE to join my 'Inner Circle Tribe' and grab yourself some FREE Masterclass trainings to start learning from me right away. Also, feel free to browse the website for more articles and grab some eBooks whilst you're at it too. If you're already a WBI'er then you're good for now - keep an eye out for the regular emails.]

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we have the power to choose

7/3/2018

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What do you give power to in your life?

The dominant force in your life dictates how your life is shaping out - whether that be positive or negative.

The best way to find out what your dominant force is to grab your notebook or journal and have a reflection moment.

What is your (current) thought pattern?

What thoughts do you entertain constantly?

What are they focused on specifically?

What feelings arise because of these thoughts?

What actions do you take or not take because of your thought patterns and then the feelings that follow?

Now you have a map to work from.

Now you can see what the dominant force is and whether it's serving you or hindering your progress.

Now you know where you need to make those changes - and changes you can make now.

In fact, here's a tip - surrender your will to God's will and return the power to Him (swt) and see how He creates miracles in your life - for His is the Power of All.

I hope this post helps.

Nadia.

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If Your Soul Is Not Growing Then It's Dying!

10/2/2016

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Picture above taken from my home in June 2012!

If your soul is not growing then it's dying!

Are YOU living or dying?

Are you making each moment count and actively seeking solutions to your challenges and working hard in your worship, studies, work, relationship, life, business?

Are you constantly learning and applying?

Are you making a difference to the lives of others and becoming an asset to humanity which you are meant to be now?

On the Day of Judgment we will stand alone in front of God - all those whom we love and those who we go crazy over will be standing alone too!

Each of us will be accounting for our own life - what we did with it and how we spent our time.

We think we have all the time in the world - but do we really?

How many do we know were here with us a year ago and now they're gone!

Take a moment and picture yourself now on the Day of Judgment standing in front of God alone with your book of deeds and ready to account...

He (God) will say, “How many years did you stay on the earth?” They will say: “We stayed a day or part of a day....” [Quran; 23:112-113]

And what is our purpose here?

Why are we suffering so much?

Why are we hurting?

Why are we so negative?

Why do we live in drama and create drama?

When someone helps us why do we reject it?

This victim mentality does not serve us!

We are created for a reason - we must excel and grow!

"Did you then think that We had created you in jest (without any purpose), and that you would not be returned to Us (in the Hereafter)? So, God is exalted, the True King. None has the right to be worshiped but Him...[Qur'an; 23:115-116]

We will all return to God!

THIS is our reality which the Qur'an teaches us over and over.

This is what our Prophet was teaching us!

Yet - we get caught up in our head and the stories we tell ourselves over and over - (usually these stories don't exit - we make them up) and then we make ourselves suffer and then years and years go by and then we wake up and realise we don't have the energy we used to - we don't have that strength - we are not youthful - we have more responsibilities!

We weren't created to just work and pay the bills!

Yes, that is part of life but NO that is NOT life itself!

Life is much more - it has tests and trials to teach us, guide us and purify us.

God has blessed us - in fact gifted us - with so many skills, talents and abilities that most of us are not even using.

Is that YOU?

Are YOU afraid what 'others' will think of you if you step up and shine your light?

I did and guess what...i still do!

It's not easy putting ourselves out there to be judged and criticized - yet we must stand up for what we believe - we must make our voice heard - we must start living right now.

Are YOU ready to live now?

YOU have so much potential in you right now which is lying dormant...because of your fear!

I spent years fearing too...i still get into my own head at times...but the more i put myself out there through my work the more prayers i get from everyone for showing up and shining my light because they needed to hear and read what i said because in that moment it was what they needed to get back on track on living a life of purpose.

God has blessed you - and you reading this need to be grateful for all His gifts to you and declare that from this moment on now you are going to live the life you were created to live.

God don't create no junk - He only creates awesome diamond souls like YOU!

I hope this helped now! :)

Click here to help your soul grow and grab my new masterclass for FREE called 7 Steps To Make This Year Awesome!

Love, duas and light!

Nadia, your Personal Peak Performance & Mindset Transformation Mentor-Coach-Consultant

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Travel Within to Find Yourself

3/12/2014

How often do we want to escape our day to day and go on holidays for a break and when we come back we say; 'Oh i need another holiday!'

I hear this all too often from busy professionals who want to escape their 'reality' then they come back and need another holiday and go back to work all tired and moody again.

So, what were they escaping from in the first place?

What you run away from will chase you!

What you resist persists.

Now this doesn't mean i'm against holiday making - i just don't understand the mentality of some who are blessed to take a break and see some beautiful places in the world yet they are still ungrateful and moody to go back to work.

If you don't like your work then why are you still there? Who is forcing you?

You have freedom of choice you know to make better decisions for your life - for your duniya and akhirah.

Oh, you have bills to pay?

We all do - and so do i!

There are many people who go day in day out without food yet many of us, especially in the west, are ungrateful for all that we have subhan'Allah!

And besides the necessities who said we need 20 phone lines or the newest flat screen tv or technological gadget?

Of course you can afford it, alhamdulilah for that, and of course you can gift yourself but i think we need to stop for a second and really search within now.

Instead of looking for an escape to go on holidays and then still be dissatisfied when we come back how about we stop for a moment and travel within and really get to know what's happening beneath the surface because if we leave it be it will come back to bite us and bite us real bad!

It will eventually catch up and we'll have a break down.

Get to know your emotions and why you do what you do.

Give your soul a chance to heal now.

You can't move on and live in your present and prepare for your awesome future if you keep looking back.

Your past is exactly just that - past.

There is a lesson in it for you to learn - now's the time to learn it and get moving on.

You owe it to yourself.

How long will you continue with those painful memories?

What purpose do they really serve?

You know you're worth more than your current reality!

You're simply one thought away from letting go and releasing yourself from those shackles.

If the Angel of Death came to you now is this how you want to return to God?

Hasn't God given you life?

Hasn't He given you the ability to make things happen for you?

Stop torturing yourself right now and get living the life you want.

Start by clearing the junk in your head and filling it with goodness.

You know if you keep eating junk food you're gonna fall ill right?

Toxic thoughts do just that - make you junk and God didn't create you no junk He created you awesome.

Begin now and travel within.

Make a promise to get rid of those negative habits and behaviour, start to create some positive changes now and then you'll enjoy your holiday making break properly AND you'll always be on an emaan-high too! :)

"To know yourself as the Being underneath the thinker, the stillness underneath the mental noise, the love and joy underneath the pain, is freedom, salvation, enlightenment." Eckhart Tolle

PIT STOP! Are YOU an Asset or a Liability?

5/2/2014

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So, as my daily personal development, I read a lot of books and articles and listen to audios and podcasts.

Articles are from all those newsletters that I have signed up to - a teacher is ALWAYS a student - so I am constantly working on making myself a better human - so constantly learning.

I read eBooks I have online (on goes my laptop again) or books I have brought.

I am a crazy book lover!

These books also inspire and motivate me in my writings and help me share and teach personal development from an Islamic perspective.

One book which I am re-reading for the umpteenth time, which I highly recommend you buy, and which teaches me valuable lessons and enhances my psychology teachings and NLP training is 'Get Off YOUR "But"' by Sean Stephenson.

If you don't know who Sean is then please Google him and watch his YouTube channel - his story will put your own life into perspective - BIG TIME!

So anyways, I was on Chapter 5 where he talks about choosing our friends - or as he calls it our 'Pit Crew' and friends who are 'takers, drainers and destroyers'.

He also talks about us as someone else's pit crew.

I have written about this before but today I really wanted to look into this further - look at ourselves deeper than looking at our friends.

I could talk about these takers, drainers and destroyers - but honestly - just buy his book as he does an awesome job explaining it.

Today I am going to turn things around.

It's time to take an honest look inside of our own soul.

It's time for a PIT STOP!

............

Sometimes it is easy to look at others or as the topic in Sean's book 'our friends' and that is all good.

And as I mentioned he does talk about us - how we need to look at ourselves also as we form someone's pit crew too.

But let's be honest here - we all know that truth hurts - I know that for sure! I've felt it!

*Face - hand*

But the thing is, only by taking a serious look at ourselves can we truly better ourselves.

It is always easy to blame others.

I blame my cat all the time!

Ok, not always - she's a good girl!

In my work and especially on social media I always say that, 'we need to work on ourselves'.

Only by working on our challenges, issues, emotional blockages can we truly free ourselves from this shackle and negative psychological loop.

Take a deep breath in - hold - breathe out.

Ask yourself....

'Am I an Asset or a Liability?'

* Am I a good child, parent, friend, co-worker, human...?

* Are you working on bettering yourself daily and focusing inwards to see what work needs to be done or are you spending your time pointing fingers at others??

* Are you a taker, drainer or destroyer?

* Do you always take from people (money, time, energy, clothes) and never give in return?

* Do you always complain about what is wrong in your life and not working and how it is doomy gloomy everywhere - and drain your friends and basically bust their happy bubble?

* Or do you always put your friends down - especially when they are hurting or have a dream or ambition they want to fulfill - do you destroy their confidence or disrespect them in front of their loved ones?

I bet right now (betting is haraam!) that your stomach is churning, and you may even feel upset or angry!

Hey, listen, no one said this 'working on bettering myself' thing was going to be easy.

I've done the above exercises myself and oh boy did I get peeved, upset and angry and the almost '...but it was her....'

I've done this process too and continue to do so!

And my best-friend-soul-sistah is reading this so 'Nikki - I love you and you're the bestest ever!' :D

Anyways, we need to go through this process and when you book your VIP Day with me this is the type of process and exercise we will do - we look inwards and see where we can possibly change things and work to make ourselves better.

We need to become assets to the Ummah and humanity.

There are plenty of liabilities out there - just read the gossip columns or gossip magazine or your facebook feed!

....

Actually, skip that - it'll just depress you.

Bottom line for today - although we need to choose A* Players (friends) for our Pit Crew - we also need to be that A* Players (friends) for others Pit Crews.

“Be not friend with a fool, for he will harm you while meaning to do good to you.” (Anon)

There are so many verses from the Qur'an as well as ahaadith about friendship and companionship.

Here are just a few....

"Anyone who criticises you cares about your friendship. Anyone who makes light of your faults cares nothing about you.” Abu Dawud, Hasan Hadith

And...

“Mix with the noble people, you become one of them; and keep away from evil people to protect yourself from their evils.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

From the Qur'an...

“And (remember) the Day when the wrong-doer will bite his hands and say: Woe to me! Would that I had taken a path with the Messenger. Woe to me! If only I had not taken so- and-so as a friend! He has led me astray from this Reminder (the Qur’an) after it had come to me. And Satan is ever a deserter to man in the hour of need.” (Al-Qur’an 25:27-29)

We all know this hadith...

“The example of a good companion and a bad companion is like that of the seller of musk, and the one who blows the blacksmith’s bellows. So as for the seller of musk then either he will grant you some, or you buy some from him, or at least you enjoy a pleasant smell from him. As for the one who blows the blacksmith’s bellows then either he will burn your clothes or you will get an offensive smell from him.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Also from the Qur'an...

“Friends on that Day will be enemies one to another, except the righteous.” (Al-Qur’an 43:67)

And finally (although there are more and I know you want them - I'll let you research them and pop them in the comments below)...

“A person is likely to follow the faith of his friend, so look whom you befriend.” Abu Dawud and at-Tirmidi

Now, time for a Pit Stop and ask yourself; 'Am I an asset or a liability?'

Tips and Action Points:

1. Grab your journal or notebook and on three separate pages draw a mind map and in the middle of each one write the words, 'Taker, Drainer and Destroyer'

2. Go through all your friends and in each mind map write down what you have taken, drained or destroyed from these friends - if you have - if you haven't that is OK.

3. Call up your friends (if you can and if they are still in your life) and make peace with them and apologise. If they are no longer in your life then read two rakah's nafl for forgiveness and make dua for them and ask Allah to bless them in this world and next.

4. After you have done this exercise for yourself - which I know is the hardest - but we have to do it to start being that good person we want to be - then do this exercise for your friends and see which friend is a taker, drainer and destroyer. You may need to spend less time with these friends or these friendships may be toxic and getting you into trouble so you'll have to bless them on their path and start fresh.

Now, I know this is a tough cookie - however - we need to start taking full responsibility for our lives and actions and by doing this exercise it will help greatly. It has helped me a lot!

Comment below and let me know how this exercise went for you and to enquire about our VIP Days (Read more about VIP Days here)

Hmmm...the title of this blog post; 'PIT STOP! Are YOU an Asset or a Liability?' - sounds like a name for an upcoming book...what do you think? :D

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[Monday Motivation] VIP Days Launch!

4/2/2014

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Remember those good old days when we used to write letters to our friends and loved ones?

Whatever happened to them?!

Well anyways, I have just written you a letter.

If you have been considering working with me in a one 2 one coaching, mentoring and healing session or even wanted to attend a workshop but still not sure then click here now to read the letter - because now is a chance for you to make that decision.

I have just launched the VIP Days!

*Takbir*

I am pretty open and transparent in this letter.

I am a private person at times and I don't usually open up to everyone - however over the years writing has really helped me to express my emotions and feelings alhamdulilah - but I also believe it is important for you to know more about me, my journey and how and why I can help you on your journey in this life too.

So click here to read the all important personal letter from me to you and let me help you help yourself insha'Allah.

---> Click here for the VIP Days letter from me to you! <---

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Maybe it's YOU?!

27/11/2013

1 Comment

...One of the hardest things for any human being is to admit they are wrong!

We rather spend our lives justifying why something happened, how it could have been avoided, oh and wait for it - the big one, why it's someone else's fault!

There's many reasons why we don't want to acknowledge that the fault may be totally and completely ours.

One word.....

EGO!!!

In one of my coaching sessions with my client I was told how one of her employees turned and twisted everything around - everything she had said - and then blamed it back on her!

Even after she had explained what she was saying her employee refused to listen.

This cost her a lot for her business - time, money, energy, valuable business contacts!

Have any of you had that happen in a business capacity?

What about your personal life?

Misconceptions? Misunderstandings?

Especially when you know someone for such a long time and you have been friends or work colleagues and then all of a sudden everything ends.

How many times have we messed our lives up because we 'refused' to listen to the explanation or insisted that it was the other persons fault?

And the emotional pain that comes with such situations - Ya Allah - it really does mess us up!

The employee used what we call 'Victim Mentality' and then made out to be the innocent victim who always gets 'hurt' and get this that same employee had a pattern of similar behaviour in all areas of their life!

I previously wrote an in-depth article on this whole topic called; 'I'm a Victim - Get ME out of HERE! Do have a read of it insha'Allah

We need to learn emotional intelligence.

Seriously!

It's not about IQ anymore or what top university you studied at or company you worked for but it's about being emotionally aware and having emotional intelligence - knowing our emotions and dealing with them effectively.

I will be teaching a Masterclass on this subject in my Success Club and I hope you can join me insha'Allah (details coming up soon).

One of the ways to become emotionally aware or have greater awareness about our life and purpose is to know our Creator.

"And be not like those who forsook Allah, so He made them forsake their own souls: these it is that are the transgressors." {Surah Al Hashr 59:19} (partial).

If we spend our time getting to know our Creator by reading and studying the Qur'an, studying ahaadith and learning the meanings of Allah's names and attributes then we achieve a greater awareness about ourself and it stops us wasting time on petty stuff and in fact it helps us to understand why certain things happened or happen in our lives and how to heal our wounds.

Of course this doesn't happen overnight.

It's a process.

So right now give yourselves the permission to understand your live events and your purpose of creation and to take a step towards healing your wounds - and before you say it - YES it CAN be done!

Many have done it before us and are living abundant lives.

And when we do take this step then all the jealousy, envy, hatred and diseases of the heart will be rectified insha'Allah.

Abu Hamzah Anas bin Malik (may God be pleased with him), who was the servant of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) reported that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “None of you truly believes (in Allah and in His religion) until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself” [Bukhari and Muslim]

Again this really is a process and sometimes it comes with maturity but if you are reading this right now then you have no excuse to ignore it but to go deep within yourself and start to make those positive changes now insha'Allah.

You and I are students of life and we are a work in progress - so let's work this.

And anyway if you are someone who is prone to 'It's not me it's you' then seriously you'll only attract the same like-minded people and miss out on all the good opportunities in life and create a bad record of yourself wherever you go - and I know that you don't want that for yourself.

So let's fix up before we get fixed up!

* Action Points & Tips:

1. Grab your journal or notebook, set aside 30 minuets for self-reflection and reflect!

2. Write down what it is that is hurting you - is it being neglected, ignored, rejected (this one is my issue - and sometimes it can still bring me down - but alhamdulilah I've learned a lot in the past 3 years).

3. What situation caused this to happen - i.e. someone you loved ignored you etc.

4. Take a deep breath and release and then let them go - accept it happened, it's done, lessons learned, time to live in the now (this may be hard at first - but as I said it's a process so start now insha'Allah).

5. Need professional help? Then it is available! Have some maturity please to help yourself - we know from the ayah of the Qur'an that Allah will not change a condition of a people until they don't change it within themselves. You have an opportunity right now to help yourself heal and live a good life that you were created to live.

What are you waiting for?

We need to become a productive Ummah and learn maturity.

Our pious predecessors achieved so much with so little and here we are today that we can't even help ourselves - when in reality we can.

Ask yourself; 'Am I happy like this?'

Now say bismillah and get working on yourself insha'Allah.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Have you experienced someone who is always the victim of everyone's behaviour? Are you the 'everyone always blames me' type or are you someone who has been both? Let me know insha'Allah. Comment below and share this post :)

[Pssst - I've been both types in my life!!!]

1 Comment

All about Love!

17/10/2013

8 Comments

Love, love and love!

It seems everyone is into love.

Wants to be loved.

Is in love.

Is complete and fulfilled by love.

Is broken by love.

Is confused by love.

And wants to be loved again.

Me too! I’m all about love!

Ok, well it’s not 14th February (Valentino’s Day – as I like to call it) and maybe I should save this post for then (I’ll repost it then!) but I really want to get into this topic today as it’s not just a Valentino’s day thing but an everyday thing.

And in fact love is not actually or just about Valentino’s day – that’s just some crazy commercialised holiday – as are so many other holidays.

Today I’m not here to talk about love as in spoucy type or when you get married etc, but I’m going to talk about everyday love, eternal love, internal love and that love that is simmering within us 24/7.

This love is beyond marriage or children.

It is much, much more. It’s basic stuff really.

And in fact, it is practiced by each of us daily – albeit unconsciously at times.

And you know what – this love is pure.

It’s like the baby love – you know when a baby just wants to be loved by its parent and isn’t aware of anything other than pure mummy/daddy love.

I want to talk to you about this love today – which is deep within us – because this love can actually make us or break us.

And it does daily – depending on how we use it.

And, no, it’s got nothing to do with the opposite gender at all!

Confused?

Keep reading.

This post is about love in the context of personal and spiritual development of the individual.

According to Maslow love and belonging are third on the level of human needs (after physiological and safety needs are fulfilled).

Humans need to love and be loved and this need is particularly strong in childhood and any deficiency in it can affect us in our adult life.

And any deficiency in adult life can lead to loneliness, anxiety and depression.

God created us social being and to be part of a social network.

The Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) teaches us many different aspects of our social life – how to interact and deal in different social settings and to create successful social spheres.

Here’s the thing.

This is all awesome and brilliant – and I totally agree with it.

However, our childhood conditioning can lead us to seek love and focus on it more than doing anything else in life.

What I mean by this is – and I speak from personal experience and in fact it is something I have to also work on a lot in my life – we always want to seek approval from those who we love when we want to take a step into whatever it is we want to do.

This form of approval can be from anyone really.

Mostly it is family.

However if we have had childhood family issues then we seek it elsewhere.

Some reading this may disagree – but in my personal coaching and mentoring capacity and getting to know many people from across the globe I have noticed that we tend to seek approval even if it is from our boss and even if we act all ‘nothing hurts me – business is business!’.

Deep down inside we have a craving – we need to fulfill it – we need to belong! We are seeking love and trying to fill the ‘void’ within us.

Now when we seek constant approval from those we love and we don’t get it we start to self-sabotage our own dreams and life.

We don’t even realize that we do it – it seems so normal.

I want you to focus back on you today.

I want you to start loving yourself today.

I always say love and respect yourself if you want to be loved!

Love doesn’t cost a thing!

You don’t have to go out there and purchase a magic pill to love yourself.

It’s free!

And think about it for a moment – the love that you’re craving – whoever you’re craving it from – they are also craving it too!

Did you even know that?

Like wow!

So, I mean, here we are being selfish and wanting to be loved yet how much do we love the one we want to be loved by? Unconditionally?

This is no manipulation game!

This is no; ‘If you love me and I will love you’ or ‘If you’re there for me I will be there for you’.

No!

This is the pure love that comes from within.

It’s natural.

You just love – because you do.

No expectations.

Read that again.

NO EXPECTATAIONS.

The reason we are stuck where we are is because we are yearning to be loved and accepted and we want to hear it in words or feel it with love or tangible objects.

But that is not necessary at all.

Yes, it’s part of it.

But not the main part.

You know I have a very close relationship with my parents and siblings since childhood.

Whenever anyone asked me; ‘Do you love Abu more or Ami more’ I used to get confused and say both. ‘No, you have to choose one’, they used to say. And me? I used to start crying!

As I got older things changed.

Life changed.

Its’ supposed to – it’s natural!

And all I ever wanted was to ‘feel’ that love as I felt it as a child.

Every time I asked my parents; ‘What shall I study/work/do?’ they always replied with; ‘Do what you want and feel happy with!’.

Ok, which kid does not want to hear this and do what they feel, right?

But me? I thought they didn’t love me anymore.

I thought they were too busy for me.

But they weren’t.

They were always there for me – but had a different way of expressing it.

You know if my parents never said; ‘Do what you want and feel happy with’ then today I wouldn’t be who I am – at all!

Honestly!

But the crazy part is – I stopped loving myself!

I hated ME!

My own soul!

Like, what?!

Yes, I hated me – because I thought the ones I loved didn’t love me!

You feel me on this?

Ah man!

How wrong was I?!

And because of this, I didn’t take the steps I needed to in life.

I was never confident.

Actually, everyone thought I was confident.

But I wasn’t!

I faked it.

There – I confessed!

(But, it worked!).

It’s like I had to start from square one and love myself again.

Love myself enough to believe in me.

Love myself enough to love others without attachment.

They pure type – for the sake of Allah type.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “None of you truly believes (in Allah and in His religion) until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself” [Bukhari and Muslim]

It doesn’t cost anything to love your sister and brother in Islam or humanity.

How could we want bad things to happen to them? We don’t wish bad on ourselves.

If we follow this Hadith correctly then there would be no hatred in the world and we wouldn’t need to search for love here and there and we wouldn’t have attachment issues.

And in fact the only one we need to be attached to and ask of is our creator – our Allah.

“And yet there are some people, who replace Allah with rivals, loving them as Allah is loved. But the believers love Allah more intensely” (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:165)

When you develop deep love for Allah then you will love everyone unconditionally and you will be good to them and wish good for them without attachments.

You won’t need to worry about attachments or fall into them.

You will see that your family mean well and your siblings mean well.

You will see that those around you mean well.

Obviously I’m not talking about someone who has taken your rights off you and has deliberately hurt you physically or emotionally or those oppressive tyrants across the globe.

I’m praying that my tribe of followers have more knowledge and wisdom to think I’m condoning all that!

But what I am trying to say is that we need to move away from; ‘Oh I was attached again and he/she hurt me again’.

That is victim mentality – and no one wants to be there.

The only one allowing yourself to fall into that trap is you.

You’re scared of being alone, rejected, not wanted.

I know! I’ve been exactly there!

Understand who YOU are!

Understand why YOU feel the need to be loved and then fall into this scenario.

Mine was straight up – I was looking for that ‘support’ from my parents and when I didn’t get it (or understand their way of giving it) I looked elsewhere!

Wrong move!

Now – it’s all good.

Now I understand.

Now I know that everyone who comes into my life is for a reason.

Allah has sent them for a reason.

And if they have to go – Allah said so!

You don’t become bitter.

You don’t hate.

You just…be.

Love doesn’t cost a thing!

You don’t have to be selfish with it.

You don’t have to ‘astagferullah’ about it.

It is who we are and there’s plenty to go around the world.

Allah is the one we need to turn to at each point.

He (swt) is the one who helps us, guides us and heals us.

Don’t hate any one.

Everyone is on their journey.

You’re not the only one in this world and the world doesn’t owe you anything.

When you realise this you can actually start to heal your wounds. You can close previous chapters. You can forgive and leave them to God and move on. You are much stronger than you’re giving yourself credit. And this is not the time and place to be getting all humble and modest.

Think about it – others have moved on and getting on in life – so what about you?

Get to know yourself again.

Get to know God again.

This is deep stuff – I know – it doesn’t happen overnight, but it’s a start right?

Once you become aware of this and focus on the purpose why Allah created you and how limited your life truly is then you won’t waste it.

Attachments are all about a need which was not fulfilled and most likely from childhood.

Seriously.

Think about it and dig deep.

Where in your life does this issue come up and with whom?

I’m not talking about today – trust me – I’ve given you a direct example of my own life.

Once you realise this – work on it and understand the context then you’ll be able to move forward.

When it happened with me I went through this process also - with Allah.

I talked to Him (swt) and asked Him to show me the way.

You need to do this for yourself and do it now.

If not you’ll always be stuck.

You’ll misunderstand love.

Love is an emotion deep within.

Allah put it there.

Don’t fight it!

Don’t be bitter against love.

That’s wrong.

Will you hate everyone and everthing?

That’s what we end up doing really!

And if it does go down the haraam road then trust me it’s something you need to look into your life.

Wait till Allah makes it halaal for you!

Why is it that we become so attached to s/he and our parents become our enemies?

Where is this coming up in your life?

Work on it and heal it.

Maybe you’ve never seen it this way before.

I hope it truly helps.

As even when you’re married your love for Allah will be more – as you know that He is the one who gives and takes and He is our Creator.

He (swt) is not here to hurt us.

We hurt ourselves.

Love yourself again if you want others to love you.

Love Allah even more and watch the doors of goodness He (swt) opens up for you.

There are numerous verses in the Qur’an about love – and I could just quote them.

All things start with us – even going to brush our teeth!

If you want to make the most of this one life Allah has given you then now is the time.

I invite you to a world of love and happiness – which is already awaiting you now.

Action Points:

1. Reflect on your life and your relationships – where can you improve and what needs to be resolved. Get on to it.

2. Learn about Allah and our purpose. Learn about RasoolAllah and his mission.

3. What do you want from your life now and whose approval are you waiting for? Be real – to yourself – and now you know what steps to take insha’Allah.

Leave me a comment and let me know what you thought about this article.

8 Comments

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Spring into Action

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Maybe it's YOU?!

All about Love!

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