I talk and post personal and spiritual development stuff for y'all and I actually work on mine daily too - i'm a work in progress just like you :)

So in the essence of my daily development I have just accepted the '10 Day Mental Challenge' (whilst reading Tony Robbins book 'Re-Awaken the Giant Within') to be committed to putting myself and keeping myself in a passionately positive state, no matter what happens.

This is a 'Mental-Diet-Detox'!

Welcome to the Challenge.

So, here are 10 steps how we will go on our 'Mental-Detox-Diet'.

Ready to accept this challenge?

Awesome, keep reading! :)

The 10 Steps to a Mental-Detox-Diet:

1. Grab a journal or pen/pencil or your online device - this is going to be our friend for the next 10 days. We will write our thoughts, our challenges and our reflection moments. Write empowering statements for yourself as well as positive 'how-to' questions.

2. Go easy on Social media - OK, so I would say 'Go on a 10 day social media fast' however, we are in this together and I need to use social media for the next 10 days to keep up to date with this post, facebook updates on the pages as well as twitter, linkedin, blogpost and pinterest (yup, i'm everywhere!) and an upcoming eBook. So I need to use social media in the next 10 days.

If you want to go on a social media fast then go for it - otherwise minimise your usage and replace it with article or book reading.

3. Grab your mus'haf (copy of the Qur'an) and read, recite, memorise and study the tafsir. Think about it, you're making a head start for Ramadan right now - how awesome is that? :)

4. Read inspirational and motivational articles, books, eBooks - write your reflections and lesson you learn in your journal. This will keep you going for the next 10 days. Better still, start your own online blog and write daily reflection pieces from this challenge. You'll be learning lots yourself and inspiring others too!

5. Watch those thoughts! Monitor them. Control them and yes you can! As soon as you get that depressing thought - snap yourself out of it. There are no excuses here. We have full control over our thoughts - we 'think' we don't. If i ask you now; 'What is your next thought?' What is your answer? Exactly! You didn't have a thought did you? So this is powerful. Control your thoughts! And if you need help then grab an rubber band, wear it on your wrist and every time you get a negative thought snap the rubber band!

6. Move your body! Get up and exercise. Change your state by changing your physiology. When we are confident and optimistic see how are body posture changes. And when we are negative, we slouch, close up, blocking our heart and breathing. Right now sit up or stand up straight, drop your shoulders, back straight, take a deep breath in - hold, breathe out and smile. See?

7.  Get involved in a community project or volunteer for an organisation. It'll teach you new skills and you'll be able to use your existing skills. You'll also feel happier by giving and helping others - it really puts our own life into perspective and how blessed we are, subhan'Allah! Help those who need our help insha'Allah.

8. Finish off outstanding project - it will give you a sense of achievement and a clearing to begin new stuff. I'm doing this! Do this now!

9. Speak to yourself lovingly. I mean honestly sometimes we should hear ourselves - would we talk to our best friend like that? No way! We wouldn't have any friends left!

Look in the mirror daily for 5 minutes. This may be a challenge at first - but hey we are on a challenge right? Hold your gaze and speak lovingly to yourself. Tell yourself you love you. Tell yourself of your achievements and what you want to achieve. Be grateful for all your blessings and thank God for them.

10. Take a break from friends and family and the phone. No, not the whole 10 days but for 1 hour every single day. Can you tear yourself away from your phone for one hour? Yes you can! Spend this time in reflection. Jot down your thoughts in your journal. Do some dhikr or tasbee and ponder on the creation. Reflect on your life - where you are, where you want to be and how you will get there. If you come up with any challenges in the next 10 days - and you will - so will I, then instead of the usual; 'Why me!' or 'What now' or any other form of negative self-talk, turn it around. Start asking better questions. The better questions you ask the better solutions you'll come up with. So ask; 'What can I learn from this now?' or 'How can I see this differently?' or 'What can I do to make this better?' or 'How can I approach this from a different angle' etc.

Try it - it's powerful!

That's our step by step plan.

Who's going to join me on this challenge now?

Let's do this!

Comment below and let me know if you are in and if you will be adding any more steps to this and remember to {SHARE the KHAIR} :)

Bismillah-ExCel!

Salaam WBI'ers!

Pray all is well in YOUR world! :)

I have a *NEW* workshop announcement for you today.

Tomorrow (Thursday 20th Feb 2014) I will be delivering a workshop in Birmingham called; 'It's MY Life! 

A sister approached me to deliver a workshop for her Qur'an class all about time management and study habits.

The major misconception in life is that we don't have enough 'time' and therefore we cannot do all the things we want to and so we need to learn 'time management skills'.

It's is not about managing our time as we all have the same 24 hours in the day and we can't really manage time - it has a duty to fulfill and a job to to do - we cannot control it.

What we can do it to start creating some positive changes in our life and learn skills to manage our life.

Once we learn 'life management' we learn 'time-management'.

If you want to make the most of your time and want to fulfill all your dreams yet you keep saying; 'I don't have enough time!' then THIS workshop is for YOU!

Alhamdulilah we have a lot of sisters attending tomorrow and the sister host decided to open it up to the local community so everyone can benefit since it is half term holidays.

If you are free tomorrow and want to attend then please see details below.

This workshop is also available for both genders and if you would like to attend or host it for your organisation, company or business then do email me asap so we can sort out the dates now.

Just a little while ago a sister asked me if instead of covering the 'study habits' part we can cover 'work habits' - so insha'Allah this workshop is tailorable for your needs as everyone is on a different level and place in life right now.

Anyways, for tomorrow here are the details and please pass them on to someone who may benefit.

~ Date: Thursday 20th Feb 2014

~ Time: 10-2pm (with breaks)

~ Venue: Bordesley Centre, Bham

~ Tickets: £20 incl workbook

~ Lunch: Bring your own

~ Must be 16+ to attend.

~ No creche!

~ Registration: 9.30am sharp!

(Sisters only for tomorrows workshop)

I will see you tomorrow if you can make it insha'Allah - if not do make dua for this workshop that Allah puts barakah in it and it is a success.


Question: Would YOU like any other workshop? Is there anything specific you want to learn about? Comment below and let me know - i'm all ears! :)

So, as my daily personal development, I read a lot of  books and articles and listen to audios and podcasts.

Articles are from all those newsletters that I have signed up to - a teacher is ALWAYS a student - so I am constantly working on making myself a better human - so constantly learning.

I read eBooks I have online (on goes my laptop again) or books I have brought.

I am a crazy book lover!

These books also inspire and motivate me in my writings and help me share and teach personal development from an Islamic perspective.

One book which I am re-reading for the umpteenth time, which I highly recommend you buy, and which teaches me valuable lessons and enhances my psychology teachings and NLP training is 'Get Off YOUR "But"' by Sean Stephenson.

If you don't know who Sean is then please Google him and watch his YouTube channel - his story will put your own life into perspective - BIG TIME!

So anyways, I was on Chapter 5 where he talks about choosing our friends - or as he calls it our 'Pit Crew' and friends who are 'takers, drainers and destroyers'.

He also talks about us as someone else's pit crew.

I have written about this before but today I really wanted to look into this further - look at ourselves deeper than looking at our friends.

I could talk about these takers, drainers and destroyers - but honestly - just buy his book as he does an awesome job explaining it.

Today I am going to turn things around.

It's time to take an honest look inside of our own soul.

It's time for a PIT STOP!

............

Sometimes it is easy to look at others or as the topic in Sean's book 'our friends' and that is all good.

And as I mentioned he does talk about us - how we need to look at ourselves also as we form someone's pit crew too.

But let's be honest here - we all know that truth hurts - I know that for sure! I've felt it!

*Face - hand*

But the thing is, only by taking a serious look at ourselves can we truly better ourselves.

It is always easy to blame others.

I blame my cat all the time!

Ok, not always - she's a good girl!

In my work and especially on social media I always say that, 'we need to work on ourselves'.

Only by working on our challenges, issues, emotional blockages can we truly free ourselves from this shackle and negative psychological loop.

Take a deep breath in - hold - breathe out.

Ask yourself....

'Am I an Asset or a Liability?'

* Am I a good child, parent, friend, co-worker, human...?

* Are you working on bettering yourself daily and focusing inwards to see what work needs to be done or are you spending your time pointing fingers at others??

* Are you a taker, drainer or destroyer?

* Do you always take from people (money, time, energy, clothes) and never give in return?

* Do you always complain about what is wrong in your life and not working and how it is doomy gloomy everywhere - and drain your friends and basically bust their happy bubble?

* Or do you always put your friends down - especially when they are hurting or have a dream or ambition they want to fulfill - do you destroy their confidence or disrespect them in front of their loved ones?

I bet right now (betting is haraam!) that your stomach is churning, and you may even feel upset or angry!

Hey, listen, no one said this 'working on bettering myself' thing was going to be easy.

I've done the above exercises myself and oh boy did I get peeved, upset and angry and the almost '...but it was her....'

I've done this process too and continue to do so!

And my best-friend-soul-sistah is reading this so 'Nikki - I love you and you're the bestest ever!' :D

Anyways, we need to go through this process and when you book your VIP Day with me this is the type of process and exercise we will do - we look inwards and see where we can possibly change things and work to make ourselves better.

We need to become assets to the Ummah and humanity.

There are plenty of liabilities out there - just read the gossip columns or gossip magazine or your facebook feed!

....

Actually, skip that - it'll just depress you.

Bottom line for today - although we need to choose A* Players (friends) for our Pit Crew - we also need to be that A* Players (friends) for others Pit Crews.

“Be not friend with a fool, for he will harm you while meaning to do good to you.” (Anon)

There are so many verses from the Qur'an as well as ahaadith about friendship and companionship.

Here are just a few....

"Anyone who criticises you cares about your friendship. Anyone who makes light of your faults cares nothing about you.” Abu Dawud, Hasan Hadith

And...

“Mix with the noble people, you become one of them; and keep away from evil people to protect yourself from their evils.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

From the Qur'an...

“And (remember) the Day when the wrong-doer will bite his hands and say: Woe to me! Would that I had taken a path with the Messenger. Woe to me! If only I had not taken so- and-so as a friend! He has led me astray from this Reminder (the Qur’an) after it had come to me. And Satan is ever a deserter to man in the hour of need.” (Al-Qur’an 25:27-29)

We all know this hadith...

“The example of a good companion and a bad companion is like that of the seller of musk, and the one who blows the blacksmith’s bellows. So as for the seller of musk then either he will grant you some, or you buy some from him, or at least you enjoy a pleasant smell from him. As for the one who blows the blacksmith’s bellows then either he will burn your clothes or you will get an offensive smell from him.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Also from the Qur'an...

“Friends on that Day will be enemies one to another, except the righteous.” (Al-Qur’an 43:67)

And finally (although there are more and I know you want them - I'll let you research them and pop them in the comments below)...

“A person is likely to follow the faith of his friend, so look whom you befriend.” Abu Dawud and at-Tirmidi

Now, time for a Pit Stop and ask yourself; 'Am I an asset or a liability?'

Tips and Action Points:

1.  Grab your journal or notebook and on three separate pages draw a mind map and in the middle of each one write the words, 'Taker, Drainer and Destroyer'

2. Go through all your friends and in each mind map write down what you have taken, drained or destroyed from these friends - if you have - if you haven't that is OK.

3. Call up your friends (if you can and if they are still in your life) and make peace with them and apologise. If they are no longer in your life then read two rakah's nafl for forgiveness and make dua for them and ask Allah to bless them in this world and next.

4. After you have done this exercise for yourself - which I know is the hardest - but we have to do it to start being that good person we want to be - then do this exercise for your friends and see which friend is a taker, drainer and destroyer. You may need to spend less time with these friends or these friendships may be toxic and getting you into trouble so you'll have to bless them on their path and start fresh. 

Now, I know this is a tough cookie - however - we need to start taking full responsibility for our lives and actions and by doing this exercise it will help greatly. It has helped me a lot!

Comment below and let me know how this exercise went for you and to enquire about our VIP Days (Read more about VIP Days here)


Hmmm...the title of this blog post; 'PIT STOP! Are YOU an Asset or a Liability?' - sounds like a name for an upcoming book...what do you think? :D

Remember those good old days when we used to write letters to our friends and loved ones?

Whatever happened to them?!

Well anyways, I have just written you a letter.

If you have been considering working with me in a one 2 one coaching, mentoring and healing session or even wanted to attend a workshop but still not sure then click here now to read the letter - because now is a chance for you to make that decision.

I have just launched the VIP Days!

*Takbir*

I am pretty open and transparent in this letter.

I am a private person at times and I don't usually open up to everyone - however over the years writing has really helped me to express my emotions and feelings alhamdulilah - but I also believe it is important for you to know more about me, my journey and how and why I can help you on your journey in this life too.

So click here to read the all important personal letter from me to you and let me help you help yourself insha'Allah.

---> Click here for the VIP Days letter from me to you! <---