Do you have a 'Forever Friends' teddy bear?

I actually have one of those! *Face-Palm*

But since I love teddys its all good! ;)

Today's post is about your 'Forever Friend'.

You know this 'Forever Friend' is forever with you, knows you, talks to you, listens to you, is there for you, advises you, looks out for you, kisses your tears away, comforts your heart and knows your soul!

What a friend, eh?!

Now that's why this friend is your 'Forever Friend'.

But the thing is we - you and I - are not very nice to this 'Forever Friend'. In fact we're pretty nasty and sometimes downright evil to this friend!

We say mean and hurtful stuff and we make our forever friend cry. We psychologically torture it and yet this forever friend is still by our side - forever.

Confused?

I bet you're thinking (by the way, betting is haraam) 'I don't treat my forever friend like this and if I did we wouldn't be forever friends!'

And you know what you're absolutely right!

So who am I talking about?

I'm talking about YOU - your SOUL - the REAL you!

We all have that one best friend - our soul sister or soul brother - and my soul sister best friend (Nikki) is actually reading this post also (thank you soul sister!).

But our best friend also has a life to live. We can't always bug them 24/7 - even though we can - its not right to.

We need to give each other space to grow so when we are together we can blossom.

So what do we do in this 'down-time' away from our best friend?

We become our own best friend!

No, honestly - who knows us more than ourselves? We do!

It kind of feels weird saying that - but we spend the most time with ourselves yet we seem to be afraid to get to know ourselves.

We're afraid to listen to our intuition or our heart.

We think we'll make the wrong choices or wrong decisions.

But that's just our fear - its not real at all!

Be Your Own Best Friend!

So when you fall, you pick yourself up and don't rely or wait on others - except keep faith in yourself and Allah. 

This doesn't mean your best friend doesn't mean anything. It means we have to grow and learn to grow. 

And think about it - if we don't learn to grow and become strong - how can we become strong for our best friend?

Somehow its all logical.

"It was narrated that Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: Whoever is mainly concerned about the Hereafter, Allah will make him feel independent of others and will make him focused and content, and his worldly affairs will fall into place.

But whoever is mainly concerned with this world, Allah will make him feel in constant need of others and will make him distracted and unfocused, and he will get nothing of this world except what is decreed for him." Hadith Tirmidhi

And in this downtime from your best friend there is also someone else who is your 'Forever Friend'.

Have you guessed who that is?

Its Allah! :)

Allah is your bestest and forever friend.

He created you and its because of Him that you're here AND its because of Him you have a best friend in your life.

Allah (swt) gives us five daily appointments to talk to Him and reconnect with Him.

We can do that right?

He also talks to us and advices us - He is an author of a self-help book called 'Qur'an'.

We can read it right?

The reason we are always frustrated or agitated is because we rely too much on other souls and not much on ourselves or Allah. And when someone isn't there for us we get worked up and throw tantrums - not realising that those souls need some downtime too!

Remember the key here is 'Give each other space to grow so when we are together we can blossom.'

We also need to constantly remind ourselves that although as humans we are social beings and need to belong in a 'community' on the Last Day we will be alone and none of our loved ones can come to our aid.

So if we take some time daily to get to know ourselves better we are in fact helping to prepare for our big day - when we stand in front of Allah (swt).

"Then, when there comes As-Sakhkhah (the Day of Resurrection's second blowing of Trumpet), That Day shall a man flee from his brother, And from his mother and his father, And from his wife and his children. Everyman, that Day, will have enough to make him careless of others." {Qur'an; 80:33-37}

Check out today's tips and action points to see how we can become our very own 'Forever Friend' and in turn have a stronger connection with our Allah and our best friend(s) insha'Allah :)

"Aloneness is a flower, a lotus blooming in your heart. Aloneness is positive, aloneness is health." Osho

Action Points and Tips:

1. Spend some part of your day in solitude. Give yourselves 15 minutes (to start with) to clear your mind and just sit quietly.

- Do some dhikr in your heart to help you in this exercise.

2. Journal your thoughts - get them off your chest and on to paper. Sometimes these thoughts are completely useless so by popping them on to paper they are out the jungle of your mind. This will also help you in the 'solitude time'.

3. Reconnect with your hobbies and passions. If it has been a while you did something you enjoyed because you got 'busy' with life (and others) then give yourselves permission now to re-start that hobby or try new stuff.

See if you don't spend any quality time with yourself actually getting to know you then you will feel lonely and always in the need of others.

There's always a time and place in life for everything.

Isn't it time you became your best and forever friend? Your life will get just a little more interesting when you do now! :)

Let me know what your hobbies are and what you do to reconnect when you have downtime insha'Allah :)

Ever been worried silly about something that you pulled half your hair out and then everything was suddenly okay?!

That's what worrying can do sometimes - make us half bald!

And no one likes to be bald! 

Well, unless you're a male whose reading this then you might like the baldilocks looks but us females like a head full of hair!
Anyways... 

Worrying about something you have no control over is actually wasting the precious moments we have in life.

We need to start controlling our thoughts - if we control our thoughts we can change our state. 

Its pretty simple but we humans do like to make things difficult for ourselves.

Sometimes we worry about things way in the past like decades ago which have long gone yet we repeat them in our mind again and again. That's self-sabotage (and there's a post already written and dedicated to that - do have a read).

We worry out of fear - fear of the unknown - not knowing the outcome of something.

We may worry about the events in the future. 

Here's a clue - its the future - it hasn't happened yet, so why are you working yourself up for?

This kind of worrying only makes things worse and can have adverse affects on our health. Not to mention that a job you could do well you might end up doing pretty badly just because you built up all that unnecessary worry.

"Worrying is carrying tomorrow's load with today's strength - carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength." Corrie ten Boom 

Then there's the immediate type of worry - the hear and now - this moment - something that's just happened. 

But because we've already overloaded our mind with past worries and future worries we can't focus on the issue at hand and we get overly emotional and mess up! (Note: emotions are good if we learn to balance them).

So the question is; 'What are you worrying about?'

Is it the past which you now need to heal and lay to rest or is it the future which you need to prepare for?

Here's another clue - now is when you deal with both.

This moment is when you finally heal the past, lay it to rest and release it. And this moment is where you prepare and plan for the future - write a step by step action point list of what needs to be done (if its an event or something you are organising or working towards completing exams, assignments etc).

Are you still following me right here right in the now?

Good. Alhamdulilah.

Uthman Ibn Affan said: 

"Worrying about this duniya is a darkness in the heart and worrying about the akhirah is a light in the heart."

Would you like some heart therapy right now? Would you like some light to enter your heart right now?

God is Light! :)

*Take a deep breath in - hold - and breathe out. Do this three times - each time relaxing each muscle in your body from head to toe and releasing all worries. Let them fall away from you as leaves fall from the trees now. That's right. Be in the now. Feel your body being relaxed to the core and feel the calmness enter your soul. Allow and give permission for light to enter your heart now.*

Eyes open please. Thank you. (Well if you had your eyes closed that is). What's your favourite dish? Well, mines anything that tastes good, really ;)

Now here's a dua for you to read insha'Allah.

The Prophet (pbuh) said; 'Whoever is afflicted with grief and distress should recite the following dua'; "O Allah, I am your slave, the son of your slave. My forelock is in Your Hand. Your judgment of me is inescapable. Your trial of me is just. I am invoking You by all the names that You call Yourself, that You have taught to anyone in Your creation, that You have mentioned in Your Book, or that You have kept unknown. Let the Qur'an be delight of my heart, the light of my chest, the remover of my sadness and the pacifier of my worries." (Source: Musnad Ahmad # 1/391)

I know what you're thinking; 'Nadia - good stuff - however you don't know me, my life, my struggles, my worries or what I'm going through - easy said than done!'

OK, so I don't know you personally. But guess what? I'm also human who has human issues and human emotions and issues. 

I may not know or feel what you're personally worrying about but I've had my share of past worries, future worries and present worries. And what did they do? Rob me off my time and my 'this moment' and who was responsible for that? Yup, me!

The thing is, if we want to reduce our worries then we need to become responsible for our lives.

That's what I'm all about and that reflects in my work and the message I want to give to everyone.

If we want to make positive changes in our life then we have to take responsibility for our life. We can't go a life through blaming others. Enough is enough! You were created for greatness and you too can live your best life - if you give yourself permission and allow yourself to be you.

Worrying unnecessarily has never helped anyone in life but made things worse.

Are you ready to take action?

Yes? 

Excellent! Read on for today's tips and action points and insha'Allah you'll be soon saying; 'Why worry about it?' :)

(If no then please go back to the top and read this post again!)

"So do not lose heart nor fall into despair; for you must gain mastery if you are true in faith." {Qur'an 3:139)

Time to gain mastery over your life. Grab your journal and pencil/pen. Bismillah.

Tips and Action Points:

1. Identify your worries:

- Are they past, present or future?

- What exactly is it that is worrying you about that specific situation?

- Are these worries for real and have real immediate consequences or just thoughts you've thought up?

- What three steps can you take immediately to reduce and eliminate these worries now?

2. Dua and Visualise:

- Remember the dua and exercise we did five minutes ago (if you've already forgotten scroll up) - do that exercise again and recite that dua frequently and especially after your salah (prayers).

- Never miss your daily Salah, Qur'an, Dhikr, Tasbee (and dua). Don't let any excuse come between you and your ibaadah - your connection with your Creator - never! 

3. Check your Thoughts:

- How are you spending your time daily? (Especially your alone time). What are you thinking? How does it make you feel?

- If you answered in the negative then now is the time to change it into the positive. That's right. Now is the time to gain mastery over your thoughts insha'Allah.

- Get some new hobbies to occupy your free time. Get active in life. Start to journal your thoughts and to see if they actually have any real ground (usually they don't - they are just like weeds growing uncontrollably in your mind) and what steps you need to take to deal with them.

- Realise right now that you HAVE control over your thoughts. Your thoughts will determine your state, mood, body posture, emotions. As soon as you get the worrisome weedy thought snap yourself out of it. Try it now. You can do it. If I can then so can you!

Remember no one else is responsible for the weeds that grow in our mind except us.

No one said it would be easy and it won't be easy at the start. You may start and stop and even feel like giving up. The key is to never give up and to never lose hope in Allah's mercy and help.

Take action now and get rid off those worries insha'Allah.

Comment below and let me know your 'thoughts' on this post. Let's become an active community who helps each other. You never know who you might inspire and motivate with your words! :)