Who is your role model today?

Who do you look up to??

Who do you follow and try to emulate???

We humans have been created as social beings and that's where we thrive and survive.

We look up to others who inspire us and are dong great things and we want to be like them.

It could be anyone from our pious predecessors - all the way to movie stars, musicians and celebrities.

When it comes to the celebrities we know everything about them and can go on forever.

But what about our pious predecessors? 

How much do we know about them and how far are we willing to travel to learn and then emulate them?

Listen, none of us will be like our pious predecessors or even the celebrities we follow.

You and I are uniquely created and each of us has that something special to offer the world.

And just as we look up to celebrity females for life tips and hints (sometimes real bad examples!) we need to look into our pious predecessors.

Ready to take a journey into the past and get lessons from a great woman in Islam who has a whole surah in the Qur'an named after her, was the mother of a Prophet AND has valuable lessons to teach us today?

Introducing Maryam (as) - the Virgin Mary - the Mother of Prophet Jesus (pbuh) and MY role model!

Although there are not many books written on her (I have one i will recommend in the class) I attended an online 9 week tafsir class about 2 years ago and after re-visiting the tafsir I picked up so many personal development lessons from just the first 30+ verses.

My jaw dropped - how did I not see this before?

Well, maybe because right now is the right time and right now is when it was written and decided from above that I should teach you all this Masterclass.

This is an online 90 minute (max) Masterclass where we will go through the story of Maryam (as) and then take out the personal development gems and dissect them to see how we can apply them to our life today.

There are lessons in God-Consciousness, awareness, trust, keeping secrets, hope, guarding one's soul, pain-relief and so much more!

Exactly - a lot to cover.

We will not cover the verse by verse translation (as I said above I attended 9 online lessons) however that will be available for anyone offline to book.

You will get the replay link (so no worries if you can't attend live, but you MUST register and purchase a ticket) as well as a pdf handout with all the personal development gems.

I'm really excited about teaching this class on Monday 30th December at 9pm GMT insha'Allah.

Register Here for this Masterclass!


[Ps - This class is for sisters only - so brothers reading this post please share this post with the women in your family and let them know about the class and don't worry i will have another Masterclass end of January 2014 which will be for everyone insha'Allah!]

So, which of you sisters is attending this Masterclass? Let me know! :)

Have you ever kept a secret from someone (parents, siblings, friends, spouse, authority)?

How did it make you feel?

Are you keeping a secret right now?

How does it make you feel?

Do you have that uneasy feeling inside? Like a gazilion butterflies in your tummy flapping their wings away, a sudden hot flush and rush in your body?

Yeah we've all been there (yes, me too!) And we've all kept a secret or currently keeping one.

But why do we torture ourselves like this and spend day in day out like we're guilty of a crime and too scared to get caught? 

Because we'll have to come clean and do the time?

Why can't we live happily without secrets?

Keeping secrets can be psychologically damaging for our soul - seriously! 

There are two types of secret-keeping. The Good and The Detrimental.

When does secret-keeping start?

Well, it starts at age 4/5 as we want to keep secrets from our parents - its a type of transition for human beings.

You know we as humans are always evolving and each age range signifies a specific growth period within us.

In adulthood secrets can become a powerhouse where they start controlling you rather than you controlling them!

Secrets could be due to shame, guilt and fear - for whatever has or is happening.

Again these are psychological that are torturing us from within and become controlling. Your every move could be determined by the secret.

Another type of 'secret- keeping' are those secrets that we keep from ourselves. This means not admitting to ourself why we have such feelings or why we do what we do. It becomes a vicious cycle and it leads to pain and hurt as well as ailments and illnesses. 

In these instances one would need professional help and one should seek it as its one of the ways forward insha'Allah.

Secrets could be kept by children - especially in cases of abuse - and if not dealt with in childhood can lead to self-doubt, low self-esteem and hiding behind a mask for many, many years.

It could lead to the abused becoming an abuser.

Keeping secrets could be kept by women and men suffering from domestic violence and the fear of others knowing. Again that vicious 'fear-shame-guilt' cycle.

This secret-keeping can also be detrimental in all your relationships. Your relationship with Allah, with your loved ones, with your colleagues. 

Your worship is affected. Your work is affected. You're always uneasy and just can't get those negative thoughts out of your head.

It can even make you severely depressed and stuck in further soul-hurting habits or make you bitter and competitive with anyone and everyone. I mean good competition is healthy in healthy bite size doses but competition where you always want to prove others wrong and become aggressive can also have deep, long term effects.

On the other hand there is a, what I call, 'good secret'. 

This is a type of 'trust' between two people or a group of people for something 'good'.

Abu Sa'id al-Khudri reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "The worst of people in the sight of Allah on the Day of Rising is a man who goes to his wife or his wife goes to him and then he discloses her secret." [Muslim] 

From this hadith we can clearly see that if either spouse was to reveal the others secrets then it would destroy their relationship.

In this case it is good to keep the others secret - and remember the bond between two of you is sacred.

These secrets are an amanah - a trust and we must do our utmost to honour them insha'Allah.

As they say if it couldn't stay in your tummy for long and you had to tell someone then that other person will do the same!

*Breathe*

So we've established that there's different types of secrets and some can be seriously harmful.

What do we do about the harmful, detrimental ones and how do we move forward?

We have to move forward - we can't stay stuck in this mud forever!

Check out today's tips and points.

They are meant to be as a 'guidance' and not to be treated as any form of 'legal or medical' advice. In cases where you feel you need professional help then please do so as help is available.

Keep reading to find out more...

Tips an Action Points:

1. The first thing is to reflect. Are your secrets a 'good' type or the 'detrimental' type?

- If good then you know why you kept them - honour them!

- If not good and they make you feel scared and threatened then you need to seek professional help insha'Allah.

- Try and avoid secret-keeping situations - especially the detrimental ones and if it is safe for you to walk away from them (and you don't feel threatened) then walk away, please!

2. Taqwa - God Consciousness - being aware that God Almighty is watching our every move. If we keep secrets from our ownself then know that He (swt) knows - He (swt) knows what's in the breasts of men. Nothing is hidden from Him!

- We have two angels on each of our shoulders recording every word and action. Keep a secret if you will but they are writing away and we will be accountable for them on the Last Day.

"And indeed, [appointed] over you are keepers, noble and recording; they know whatever you do" {Al-Infitar; 10-12}.

- How do you want to face God on the Last Day?

- Are your secrets secretly eating your soul?

3. Get Creative! Depending upon your secret you could always journal about it and then burn it (if it is safe to do so). Or write them on a piece of paper and shred them or throw them away. Its a form of emotional release. 

- You could forgive the one who hurt your soul. And forgiveness is not to say that you condone their behaviour but a way for you to move forward. Think about it for a moment. They have long moved on and you're still suffering. Why? What purpose does it serve? Do you want to continue like this or finally be happy with you?

4. Its good to talk. If it is any form of abuse (that you're suffering as you read this) then seek professional help. Listen I know its scary but if you stay scared then you're hurting you even more. There's many organisations set up to help you and you can remain anonymous.

- If its way past when and its still eating up inside then again seek professional help. There's nothing wrong with speaking to a counsellor. They will help you move forward. Trust me, you owe it to your own soul.

5. Dua - Supplication - to the Creator. He created us and He listens to us. Don't underestimate the power of direct dua to Allah. Talk to Him and He (swt) will help you and show you the light.

Things happen in life. This life is a test and God does not burden a soul more than it can handle. There's a lesson to learn from it. The more angry or frustrated you get the more you're hurting yourself.

Keep a secret where it is for the good and it is a trust and you know God will be proud of you for it. But where a secret is causing you pain, grief, heartache, illness - please seek professional advice. 

Why live this life of pain when you can deal with it and finally move forward?

Look after yourself. Remember YOU'RE worth it! 

Oh and don't keep this post a secret - share it because it might just help someone out there insha'Allah :)