The season of spring brings new life all around us - as we awaken from deep winter slumber.

​It's a season of hope. It's a season to dream again. It's a season to believe again.

However, this year - 2020, it's a different kind of spring.​

​With the pandemic engulfing the globe and many loved ones leaving our lives, it may seem like a season to run away and hide.

​Instead of hope, there is wide spread fear.

Instead of belief, there is wide spread disbelief.

​Instead of dreams, it's like a horrible nightmare.

​I acknowledge what is happening right now.

I'm in it with you - we are all in this together.

The plans you and I had for 2020 have all suddenly been squashed.

​There's a good few things I've learned over the years of heavy trials and tribulations.

​I've overcome many obstacles and no doubt - as my Queen Mama says - I have so many more to see in my lifetime (and I so don't want to!).

​On March 28, I turned 40, and I could sit here and write about all those trying times - but I've actually learned lessons and have grown so much that those trying times don't feel trying anymore - even though at times I was at the brink of suicide!

Yes, that deep!

It was deep then - I couldn't breathe - I didn't think I could make it through another day.

But I carried on and here I am today to bring that hope back into our lives.

After this post is published, there may be more negative news, and it may even be personal to us, but I know that it too shall come to pass and God is the best of all planners.

This life is temporary - we know this - and we all have to leave for our afterlife one day.

Today, here, we are going to learn from what is happening and the unexpected things that continue to unfold daily, and we are going to spring into action.

We are going to take responsibility for our lives and whilst taking the current circumstances into consideration, create a plan for us.

Life is going to continue and we can't die until it is our time.

That is the truest fact and reality of our existence.

We can succumb to the current situation or get a grip on ourselves so we stay focused and calm during the storm.

Our family needs us - my elderly parents (and cats) need me right now and I need to be in the right frame of mind to be able to handle the situation and what God sends my way.

Amidst the uncertainty, fear, confusion, I must stay strong and focused and so must you - you are needed right now and always - we surrender to God's Will and follow His commands and the guidance from our beloved Prophet Muhammad (pbuh).

We must get prepared.

‘Oh you who believe! Fear Allah and behave with taqwa. Let every soul consider what it has prepared for tomorrow. Allah is surely aware of everything you do.’ (Qur'an; 59:18)

We will be questioned on how we used this pandemic to grow, learn, and become better and stronger humans.

‘Call yourself to account before you are taken to account. And weigh your deeds before your deeds are weighed.’ (Hadith Tirmidhi)

You may be hurting or angry right now, so take a deep breath, release, and for a moment, believe again. 

Just believe again, and read on.

Here are the 7 steps that I'm taking daily to spring into action this season and do my part.

​Yes, I too have my down moments - and that will happen - it is part of our being and day to day life - however, we must become strong to handle our emotions and what is written to happen and when the down moments visit us - because they will!

I hope these 7 daily steps inspire and motivate you too.

1. Connection - to our Creator - God Almighty.

I start here.

We must start here - for, to God we belong and to Him is our return.

He sent us here - it was His Will and He will take us back when He decides He wants us back.

Everything is already written to happen - it's in the Al-Luh Mahfuz - the Preserved Tablet - which is with God.

So it was written, so it shall be done and God does not burden any soul more than what she or he can bear.

What do we learn from this?

Firstly, that everything is already written to happen and that is the decree.

It just is.

Take a moment to reflect on this - really connect deeply to God during this time and then carry it with you throughout your lifetime - long or short.

We are all in isolation mode now - quarantine - and we don't have work to rush to - we don't have assignments to hand in - we don't have exams to prepare for - but the current exam happing now.

You have all the time in the world right now that you didn't have before because of your daily responsibilities, to stop and really, truly, connect deeply with God.

It's what you always wanted, right?

You got it now!

Secondly, since God has assigned us all with our unique burdens (yes, they may be similar - but still unique to each of us), He already knows we can handle it!

It's His promise that we can handle it.

So, why did He (swt) give them to us?

To see how we respond - are we grateful or not - and to purify us and to strengthen us.

Take this time to connect with Him and let's work on our daily prayers and daily Qur'an recitation. 

This will really shape us to being who we are meant to be and we can understand all that is happening and why it's happening and start living a life of purpose.

You won't never need to read another conspiracy theory again!

(And I'm a conspiracist!).

Make a daily plan for your daily worship and study and get to it right now - see and feel the difference it's make instantly. 

Start small but start now.

It will really help you during this time.

2. Perspective - reframing

We each see, feel, and experience life from our own personal world view.

All that we have been going through has shaped up our perspective.

My perspective to this pandemic will be different to yours and yours different to your family and so on.

We respect each others life journey and try and understand each others perspective.

Reframe what is happening around you and see if you can give it another meaning - a meaning more positive.

If we continue to keep ourselves stuck in, 'Why is this happening' and look for the negative answer, we will find it.

Do you need to get healthier? Eat healthier? Reconnect with God? With family? With your purpose here? Who you are? Need to slow down from the race of life?

What other meaning could you give to this which is more beneficial and positive for you right now?

It's there - if you seek it - and if you want it - it's there. 

3. Mindset 

Affirm health and healing to yourself.

The more negative we consume - the more our immune will weaken - and the more susceptible to illness and dis-ease.

Yes, it does all start in the mind and with our thoughts.

What thoughts are running in your mind right now?

Are they helping you or making things worse and causing anxiety and panic?

STOP - reframe - choose new thoughts.

You know I specialise in mindset transformation. I took on a challenge for myself back in 2015 to start reprogramming my mindset and heal myself from toxic thoughts and a toxic life.

On the outside I was achieving educational success but on the inside I was entertaining sad and negative thoughts which lead to sad and fabricated stories - which never existed - but in my mind they seemed wonderful.

Why did I do this?

Long story short - starts in childhood and we keep the tape playing in adulthood.

So, what thoughts are you going to choose? Those which bring life and healing to you or those that will keep you stuck and in unnecessary pain?

You have a choice right now to choose healthy and positive thoughts.

And YES still wash your hands and take the precarious and stay indoors!

4. Focus 

What we focus on increases - simple!

So, following from the point above, really, what are you focusing on right now?

When I watched too much news and kept reading everyones stories on social media - which, my heart and soul goes out to them and I pray for them, I started getting nightmares.

It started affecting my sleep which led to my low energy during the day.

Only two and a half years ago, my family and I were victims of an armed robbery hostage.

My life completely changed forever.

I barely slept for 13 weeks after the incident.

I'm still not out of the incident completely - I still have trauma and nightmares and sometimes daytime trauma.

All this led to my ill health and weakened immune.

I know what to do to help myself out of it.

So, action point, change your focus.

Start with your home environment, your bedroom, your closet, your books - get spring cleaning - it's spring after all. Get rid off the clutter and start creating healthy energy around you. Get to the spring cleaning tasks you wanted to ten year ago, NOW! 

Change your focus - change your life. You have a choice.

5. Pruning

Following from the above - as you clean up your physical environment - start pruning - just like plants and trees need pruning so they grow back healthier - we too need to start decluttering and pruning - keep that which you need and get ready to donate or get rid off that which you do not need.

Mindset - prune your thoughts - cut those which are harming you and choose those which will serve you and bring healing.

Social media - God knows we need to cut back on this!!! It's time to prune what you read online and what you watch and listen to.

Look, even I read the daily breaking news and keep up to date with the basics.

Everything else?

Pruned!

Why?

Read #4 above again!

Get pruning and bring in healthier air and space around you and within you.

Again, results are instant!  

6. Planning 

So, our 2020 plan may have been disrupted, however, we still need to plan.

You had a plan of action for getting your food supplies and the sanitisers right?

Same again.

Review your 2020 plan - whether that's for your family life, your studies, your work, your career, you business, your health, your children, your pets - whatever is your flow right now, review your plan and taking current situations into consideration, rewrite that plan and schedule in what you need to for the next 3 - 6 - 9 months of 2020.

Personally, I'm a 3 month type!

So, although I'm reviewing the whole year for myself, I'm breaking my business goals down to the next 3 months each.

Also, Ramadan is literally upon us and I'm factoring that in too.

So, what can you review and replan?

There are things which you can take control of right now, so go ahead and grab your journal, diary, planner - just don't throw it out the window yet!

7. Action

And, ACTION!

Review all the points above and take action on each point where it resonates with you and which is important for you and your life right now.

If something pops up in your head which I haven't covered then rest assured that pop up is important to you and for you so taking the above as a guideline, take action on what you need to - make that plan - stay focused - start pruning - let in positive light and healing - allow only specific information that will help you in your immediate health and safety - stay and keep informed - keep things in perspective - see them as they are, not worse, envision  the better, and above all - get and stay connected to the One Above!
...................

This is how I'm helping myself daily and my hope is that you too will help yourself to help your families to help all those around you.

If I don't follow the steps above then I'll be one messed up soul and THAT is not good for anyone - especially me!

Just like you, I too am in this with you and I don't want to be, but I'm here, you're here, we are all here.

Qadr Allah - God's Will - but He's also given us the ability to help ourselves.

Will you choose to help yourself?

Let me know in the comments below what resonated with you the most and what action steps you will take.

Sending you and your family lots of love, duas, light for your health, healing, safety, and protection.

Please do keep me and my family in your duas too.

Nadia.

[BTW, if we've just met for the very first time right now on this blog post article and you resonate with my words and you want to learn more about me and how I can help you, then I invite you to CLICK HERE to join my 'Inner Circle Tribe' and grab yourself some FREE Masterclass trainings to start learning from me right away. They'll really help you during these tough times. If you're a regular WBI'er then you're good for now - keep an eye out for the regular emails.]

What a decade!

I'm sure, just like me, you've had a crazy ride with all the highs and lows.

So, as we end this decade and look forward to a new year and a new start, lets's take a moment together to recap the top 10 blog post articles and top 10 videos from We Be Inspired.

After all, WBI was born in this decade.

I wanted to create a platform where I could share with you daily inspiration and motivation to help us live a life full of purpose, with purpose.

It's what I want for myself and it's the path I've been on for the last almost 26 years now.

I'm (sometimes) obsessed with being the person I was created to be and to find myself through all the challenges and difficulties as well as the good times.

Together, I wanted us to use all our God gifted abilities and talents to truly live out our best life, helping ourselves, each other, humanity, and all of creation, and in the process also get closer to our Creator, God Almighty - Allah (swt) - work on strengthening our connection with Him, working on perfecting our ibaadah - our worship - and preparing for our best afterlife - for as I always say, each moment is our only moment!

This is my passion and my life purpose - to help you reconnect with God!

So, grab your hot or cold drinks and snacks, and get ready to be inspired and motivated, and step into the world of Islamic Spiritual and Personal Development.

And if you're new to this world, then, this is an awesome place to start right now, and when you finish, continue browsing the website for more content, articles, videos, and resources.

Oh, and, make sure you grab your notebook and pen - you're going to need it for sure!

Let's do this.

Let the class begin.

Bismillah-ExCel!

Top 10 Blog Post Articles from 2011-2019:

#10 YOU are NOT a Mistake!

 God created you for a reason - for a purpose. 

Each moment is teaching you a lesson and this lesson is shaping up the human you are meant to be - the human you are being right now. 

The only thing is how you perceive it and how you react. 

This will determine your path in life and what you achieve.

YOU are needed in this world - it's time you believe this and start living life full on!
 
#9 Give and You shall Receive!

We live in a society and culture where we want to work hard only so we accumulate all the goods of this world. 

We want, want and want!

Its ok to have goods of this world - if done in moderation.

We need a roof on top our heads and clothes on our body. We need that. So we work for it and its ok.

But it's not always just about us as an individual, but we as a group, a community, humanity.

​After reading this post, you'll become a giver too (if you aren't already) and watch the abundance you receive in return.

#8 I'm a Victim - Get ME out of HERE!

The topic we are going to look at today is about 'Self-sabotage' and 'Victim mentality'.

Today's topic is pretty deep - in more ways than one. So before we begin I request you to read this only if you are ready to move on from all negativity in your life, if you're looking for some solutions and answers and if you want to start making positive changes in your world.

If you're feeling very low and emotional then this topic may really hit home and may upset you or may even make you angry.

​But do read it and do the exercises as it'll really help you.

#7 Need A Quick Spiritual Fix?

So here's the plan for us insha'Allah.

I'll give you the overall plan, but its for you to make your own schedule - because we've all got different daily schedules.

I mean normal people's schedule begins from 9am til 5pm, but someone as abnormal as me, my schedule is 5pm till 6am! (Don't ask!)

(Side note - it's 2019 and it's still the same - the 5pm till 6am thing!).

#6 Are YOU Aware of YOU?

How do we spend most of our days? Do we consciously go through the day knowing what we are doing or do we just ‘flow’ through the day on auto-pilot? Maybe you’re half and half – half on auto and half conscious? 

And, so, the question is – what about the other half? Time to find out now!

#5 Courage Doesn’t Always Roar!

Today's topic is about; 'Courage and being Courageous’.

Before we continue further I just want to point out that this topic is not only for females but also for males.

In a society where gender biases are at a high we are always told that men are brave and women are weak.

We're not talking about the gender differences which Allah (swt) has created but how we always tell boys; 'Boys don't cry they are brave' and we tell girls; 'It's ok to cry, you're a girl!'.

​You might cry when you read this post, but it's OK, it's a healing process. 

Watch how your courage is unleashed.

#4 Is YOUR Patience A Virtue? 

...Or does it make you more impatient? 

Well, we have been hearing all our lives that patience is a virtue!

Is it true though? And has it worked for YOU?

Has patience become a virtue for you or made you even more impatient?

Let's find out and cultivate patience in our life.

#3 What are YOU doing this Moment?

Moments: Know that every moment you have is an opportunity. 

An opportunity to grow, to excel to make your dreams a reality. 

How do YOU spend your moments and what are you doing this moment?

Each moment is our only moment so find out how you can live each moment to the fullest.

#2 Have YOU Found YOUR Purpose Yet? 

* Ever questioned and asked what you're doing here on Planet Earth?

* Ever had one of those days when you said; 'I've had enough! No more! I don't get it! Why ME!??

* Ever wanted peace and comfort - enough of the hustle bustle of daily life and just time to be you???

*Reflection Moment (take a minute)*

If so, then I ask you, what's stopping you from being you and having peace and comfort in life?

Read to discover your purpose in life and then live it out full til the end of your lifetime.

#1 There's something Special inside of YOU

"You say that you are just a body, but inside of you is something greater than the Universe." Imam Shafi (rahimullah).

We are spiritual beings living in physical bodies - both need taking care of. Our soul needs ibaadah (worship) and our body needs the right foods and exercise. When both the soul and body are aligned - we are at an overall state of peace and ease.

But when either one of them is misaligned then we are at dis-ease.

Have you ever felt at dis-ease? Then step inside of yourself and discover who you truly are!

Top 10 Youtube Videos from 2011-2019:

#10 Ramadan of Excellence 2019   

#9 Challenge Yourself Daily

#8 Students you're in it to win it!

#7 What the FOMO is all that about?

#6 The Power of Chunking

#5 How to get Instant Soul Therapy & Heart Relief

#4 Let's share the burden today

#3 Challenges have Solutions

#2 Your Map of the World

#1 Who the Heaven am I?

So, there you have it, a selection of articles and videos to help you heal from your wounds and the past, release the negativity, set the intention, and step into the new decade - into 2020 - with excellence, health, and abundance - in ALL areas of your life.

Thank you for being part of this journey and I look forward to your company in the coming decade(s), insha'Allah - God willing.

I'll recommit to excellence and helping you to reconnect with God.

​Please keep me in your duas too. 

With all my love, duas, and light,

Nadia :)

[BTW, if we've just met for the very first time right now on this blog post article and you resonate with my words and you want to learn more about me and how I can help you, then I invite you to CLICK HERE to join my 'Inner Circle Tribe' and grab yourself some FREE Masterclass trainings to start learning from me right away. If you're a regular WBI'er then you're good for now - keep an eye out for the regular emails.]

How do you deal with your emotions? 

Are you 'releasing or recycling?'

So i just learnt about this concept. When we are dealing with any of our challenges we are either actively releasing our emotions or recycling them.

Releasing is when we have dealt with our emotions - actively - and time span is different for us all as we are all different - and then we get to a stage where we release our emotions and we begin to heal. This is when you start to feel ease, peace and calm within and you are actively getting on with your life - no more random tear sessions when hearing that song or seeing that picture.

Recycling is the stage where we keep repeating and repeating. We go through the whole 'Why' syndrome and is something i have also done and sometimes i have deliberately allowed myself to stay down this road longer than i should have and i have 'suffered' the consequences and yes suffering is optional - we have within us the ability to switch into the now and be OK only if we give ourselves permission.

Many people stay stuck in the recycling stage and so did i - especially in my teens and twenties.

I guess it's because it is comforting - as in we get used to our comfort zone and don't want to stretch ourselves but deep inside we know that if we do stretch ourselves we will learn and grow.

Releasing one's emotions doesn't happen overnight - especially when it involves the loss of a loved one. We naturally go through phases to understand it all and be OK.

Another thing is that many times we - yes females and males - were brought up to just 'deal with it and get over it' yet that same person would be eating their own words (we've all experienced that).

Healing begins as soon as we accept that God has something awesome planned for us and that He does not burden our souls more than we can handle and that He already knows we can handle it and He is looking at our response - whether we'll be grateful or ungrateful and how we will react. Healing begins when we understand our emotions and what triggers us and we realise that we have the power to change our state by changing our thoughts as we create our thoughts and we can direct them where we want. Healing begins when we let go and let God.

I hope this helps! :)

...Open your heart and let 'The Light' through.

Too many of us are 'suffering' from various challenges (problems/issues).

A personal reflection...

They say that it has to get worse to get better.

They were right!

March 2010 - April 2014

I still get flashbacks! 

I go into deep reflection mode and get emotional and teary!

I go quiet...

I'm teary writing this...

Even back then walhamdulilah I still got to do a two week KSC Easter Playscheme through the drama and went London for an evening workshop.

Only through God's will and Mercy did I make it through those two weeks in April.

God is Great!

April 2010 - I thought it was the beginning of 'The End'.

April 2014 - Am I still alive?

Wow, subhan'Allah - I still pinch me to make sure it's real.

God is Great!

Everything is not what it always seems - especially on social media.

Don't be fooled by my 'khaapiness' on display.

There's a reason why I'm still alive and there's a reason why you are alive and reading this.

There's a reason why I do the personal and spiritual development work I do today.

Everyone is on a journey.

This journey is back to God.

This moment is all we have.

I promised that if I got better through my illness I would make each my moments count.

It's not funny being 'alive' and telling your family 'I might die and we need to prepare now' and trying to be ok with it all.

It's not funny sitting at hospital alone not taking your family with you so they won't be upset and getting those biopsies and stuff.

The Nurse: 'You're a brave girl!'

Me in my head: 'It hurts lady - it hurts! I just don't wana show you my tears!'

And yes I cried when I left that hospital!

It's not funny trying to fake smile at your nieces during the playscheme and lying to them; 'Don't worry - I'm ok - everything is ok!' And they know everything is not ok.

It's not funny seeing your Mama trying to be ok as she might lose her youngest and being brave.

Everyone is on a journey.

I know you have your story too.

It's ok if no one gets you - I get that all the time!

I'm misunderstood most the times!

Remember though Allah has put you here for a reason.

Be ok with that and do what you gotta do - even if no one gets you.

Coz we're all on a journey and it's all gona end soon.

Make the most of yours - make your moments count - as this moment is all we have...

I know I don't share this with y'all - but I am today - just so you get a glimpse into my world and maybe it gives you some soul therapy too.

Nadia x

Remember those good old days when we used to write letters to our friends and loved ones?

Whatever happened to them?!

Well anyways, I have just written you a letter.

If you have been considering working with me in a one 2 one coaching, mentoring and healing session or even wanted to attend a workshop but still not sure then click here now to read the letter - because now is a chance for you to make that decision.

I have just launched the VIP Days!

*Takbir*

I am pretty open and transparent in this letter.

I am a private person at times and I don't usually open up to everyone - however over the years writing has really helped me to express my emotions and feelings alhamdulilah - but I also believe it is important for you to know more about me, my journey and how and why I can help you on your journey in this life too.

So click here to read the all important personal letter from me to you and let me help you help yourself insha'Allah.

---> Click here for the VIP Days letter from me to you! <---

...One of the hardest things for any human being is to admit they are wrong!

We rather spend our lives justifying why something happened, how it could have been avoided, oh and wait for it - the big one, why it's someone else's fault!

There's many reasons why we don't want to acknowledge that the fault may be totally and completely ours. 

One word.....

EGO!!!

In one of my coaching sessions with my client I was told how one of her employees turned and twisted everything around - everything she had said - and then blamed it back on her!

Even after she had explained what she was saying her employee refused to listen.

This cost her a lot for her business - time, money, energy, valuable business contacts!

Have any of you had that happen in a business capacity?

What about your personal life?

Misconceptions? Misunderstandings? 

Especially when you know someone for such a long time and you have been friends or work colleagues and then all of a sudden everything ends.

How many times have we messed our lives up because we 'refused' to listen to the explanation or insisted that it was the other persons fault?

And the emotional pain that comes with such situations - Ya Allah - it really does mess us up!

The employee used what we call 'Victim Mentality' and then made out to be the innocent victim who always gets 'hurt' and get this that same employee had a pattern of similar behaviour in all areas of their life!

I previously wrote an in-depth article on this whole topic called; 'I'm a Victim - Get ME out of HERE! Do have a read of it insha'Allah  

We need to learn emotional intelligence.

Seriously!

It's not about IQ anymore or what top university you studied at or company you worked for but it's about being emotionally aware and having emotional intelligence - knowing our emotions and dealing with them effectively.

I will be teaching a Masterclass on this subject in my Success Club and I hope you can join me insha'Allah (details coming up soon).

One of the ways to become emotionally aware or have greater awareness about our life and purpose is to know our Creator.

"And be not like those who forsook Allah, so He made them forsake their own souls: these it is that are the transgressors." {Surah Al Hashr 59:19} (partial).

If we spend our time getting to know our Creator by reading and studying the Qur'an, studying ahaadith and learning the meanings of Allah's names and attributes then we achieve a greater awareness about ourself and it stops us wasting time on petty stuff and in fact it helps us to understand why certain things happened or happen in our lives and how to heal our wounds.

Of course this doesn't happen overnight.

It's a process.

So right now give yourselves the permission to understand your live events and your purpose of creation and to take a step towards healing your wounds - and before you say it - YES it CAN be done!

Many have done it before us and are living abundant lives.

And when we do take this step then all the jealousy, envy, hatred and diseases of the heart will be rectified insha'Allah.

Abu Hamzah Anas bin Malik (may God be pleased with him), who was the servant of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) reported that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “None of you truly believes (in Allah and in His religion) until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself” [Bukhari and Muslim]

Again this really is a process and sometimes it comes with maturity but if you are reading this right now then you have no excuse to ignore it but to go deep within yourself and start to make those positive changes now insha'Allah.

You and I are students of life and we are a work in progress - so let's work this.

And anyway if you are someone who is prone to 'It's not me it's you' then seriously you'll only attract the same like-minded people and miss out on all the good opportunities in life and create a bad record of yourself wherever you go - and I know that you don't want that for yourself.

So let's fix up before we get fixed up!

* Action Points & Tips:

1. Grab your journal or notebook, set aside 30 minuets for self-reflection and reflect!

2. Write down what it is that is hurting you - is it being neglected, ignored, rejected (this one is my issue - and sometimes it can still bring me down - but alhamdulilah I've learned a lot in the past 3 years).

3. What situation caused this to happen - i.e. someone you loved ignored you etc.

4. Take a deep breath and release and then let them go - accept it happened, it's done, lessons learned, time to live in the now (this may be hard at first - but as I said it's a process so start now insha'Allah).

5. Need professional help? Then it is available! Have some maturity please to help yourself - we know from the ayah of the Qur'an that Allah will not change a condition of a people until they don't change it within themselves. You have an opportunity right now to help yourself heal and live a good life that you were created to live.

What are you waiting for? 

We need to become a productive Ummah and learn maturity. 

Our pious predecessors achieved so much with so little and here we are today that we can't even help ourselves - when in reality we can.

Ask yourself; 'Am I happy like this?'

Now say bismillah and get working on yourself insha'Allah.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Have you experienced someone who is always the victim of everyone's behaviour? Are you the 'everyone always blames me' type or are you someone who has been both? Let me know insha'Allah. Comment below and share this post :)


[Pssst - I've been both types in my life!!!] 

Love, love and love!

It seems everyone is into love.

Wants to be loved.

Is in love.

Is complete and fulfilled by love.

Is broken by love.

Is confused by love.

And wants to be loved again.

Me too! I’m all about love!

Ok, well it’s not 14th February (Valentino’s Day – as I like to call it) and maybe I should save this post for then (I’ll repost it then!) but I really want to get into this topic today as it’s not just a Valentino’s day thing but an everyday thing.

And in fact love is not actually or just about Valentino’s day – that’s just some crazy commercialised holiday – as are so many other holidays.

Today I’m not here to talk about love as in spoucy type or when you get married etc, but I’m going to talk about everyday love, eternal love, internal love and that love that is simmering within us 24/7.

This love is beyond marriage or children.

It is much, much more. It’s basic stuff really.

And in fact, it is practiced by each of us daily – albeit unconsciously at times.

And you know what – this love is pure.

It’s like the baby love – you know when a baby just wants to be loved by its parent and isn’t aware of anything other than pure mummy/daddy love.

I want to talk to you about this love today – which is deep within us – because this love can actually make us or break us.

And it does daily – depending on how we use it.

And, no, it’s got nothing to do with the opposite gender at all!

Confused?

Keep reading.

This post is about love in the context of personal and spiritual development of the individual.

According to Maslow love and belonging are third on the level of human needs (after physiological and safety needs are fulfilled).

Humans need to love and be loved and this need is particularly strong in childhood and any deficiency in it can affect us in our adult life.

And any deficiency in adult life can lead to loneliness, anxiety and depression.

God created us social being and to be part of a social network.

The Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) teaches us many different aspects of our social life – how to interact and deal in different social settings and to create successful social spheres.

Here’s the thing.

This is all awesome and brilliant – and I totally agree with it.

However, our childhood conditioning can lead us to seek love and focus on it more than doing anything else in life.

What I mean by this is – and I speak from personal experience and in fact it is something I have to also work on a lot in my life – we always want to seek approval from those who we love when we want to take a step into whatever it is we want to do.

This form of approval can be from anyone really.

Mostly it is family.

However if we have had childhood family issues then we seek it elsewhere.

Some reading this may disagree – but in my personal coaching and mentoring capacity and getting to know many people from across the globe I have noticed that we tend to seek approval even if it is from our boss and even if we act all ‘nothing hurts me – business is business!’.

Deep down inside we have a craving – we need to fulfill it – we need to belong! We are seeking love and trying to fill the ‘void’ within us.

Now when we seek constant approval from those we love and we don’t get it we start to self-sabotage our own dreams and life.

We don’t even realize that we do it – it seems so normal.

I want you to focus back on you today.

I want you to start loving yourself today.

I always say love and respect yourself if you want to be loved!

Love doesn’t cost a thing!

You don’t have to go out there and purchase a magic pill to love yourself.

It’s free!

And think about it for a moment – the love that you’re craving – whoever you’re craving it from – they are also craving it too!

Did you even know that?

Like wow!

So, I mean, here we are being selfish and wanting to be loved yet how much do we love the one we want to be loved by? Unconditionally?

This is no manipulation game!

This is no; ‘If you love me and I will love you’ or ‘If you’re there for me I will be there for you’.

No!

This is the pure love that comes from within.

It’s natural.

You just love – because you do.

No expectations.

Read that again.

NO EXPECTATAIONS.

The reason we are stuck where we are is because we are yearning to be loved and accepted and we want to hear it in words or feel it with love or tangible objects.

But that is not necessary at all.

Yes, it’s part of it.

But not the main part.

You know I have a very close relationship with my parents and siblings since childhood.

Whenever anyone asked me; ‘Do you love Abu more or Ami more’ I used to get confused and say both. ‘No, you have to choose one’, they used to say. And me? I used to start crying!

As I got older things changed.

Life changed.

Its’ supposed to – it’s natural!

And all I ever wanted was to ‘feel’ that love as I felt it as a child.

Every time I asked my parents; ‘What shall I study/work/do?’ they always replied with; ‘Do what you want and feel happy with!’.

Ok, which kid does not want to hear this and do what they feel, right?

But me? I thought they didn’t love me anymore.

I thought they were too busy for me.

But they weren’t.

They were always there for me – but had a different way of expressing it.

You know if my parents never said; ‘Do what you want and feel happy with’ then today I wouldn’t be who I am – at all!

Honestly!

But the crazy part is – I stopped loving myself!

I hated ME!

My own soul!

Like, what?!

Yes, I hated me – because I thought the ones I loved didn’t love me!

You feel me on this?

Ah man!

How wrong was I?!

And because of this, I didn’t take the steps I needed to in life.

I was never confident.

Actually, everyone thought I was confident.

But I wasn’t!

I faked it.

There – I confessed!

(But, it worked!).

It’s like I had to start from square one and love myself again.

Love myself enough to believe in me.

Love myself enough to love others without attachment.

They pure type – for the sake of Allah type.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “None of you truly believes (in Allah and in His religion) until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself” [Bukhari and Muslim]

It doesn’t cost anything to love your sister and brother in Islam or humanity.

How could we want bad things to happen to them? We don’t wish bad on ourselves.

If we follow this Hadith correctly then there would be no hatred in the world and we wouldn’t need to search for love here and there and we wouldn’t have attachment issues.

And in fact the only one we need to be attached to and ask of is our creator – our Allah.

“And yet there are some people, who replace Allah with rivals, loving them as Allah is loved. But the believers love Allah more intensely” (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:165) 

When you develop deep love for Allah then you will love everyone unconditionally and you will be good to them and wish good for them without attachments.

You won’t need to worry about attachments or fall into them.

You will see that your family mean well and your siblings mean well.

You will see that those around you mean well.

Obviously I’m not talking about someone who has taken your rights off you and has deliberately hurt you physically or emotionally or those oppressive tyrants across the globe.

I’m praying that my tribe of followers have more knowledge and wisdom to think I’m condoning all that!

But what I am trying to say is that we need to move away from; ‘Oh I was attached again and he/she hurt me again’.

That is victim mentality – and no one wants to be there.

The only one allowing yourself to fall into that trap is you.

You’re scared of being alone, rejected, not wanted.

I know! I’ve been exactly there!

Understand who YOU are!

Understand why YOU feel the need to be loved and then fall into this scenario.

Mine was straight up – I was looking for that ‘support’ from my parents and when I didn’t get it (or understand their way of giving it) I looked elsewhere!

Wrong move!

Now – it’s all good.

Now I understand.

Now I know that everyone who comes into my life is for a reason.

Allah has sent them for a reason.

And if they have to go – Allah said so!

You don’t become bitter.

You don’t hate.

You just…be.

Love doesn’t cost a thing!

You don’t have to be selfish with it.

You don’t have to ‘astagferullah’ about it.

It is who we are and there’s plenty to go around the world.

Allah is the one we need to turn to at each point.

He (swt) is the one who helps us, guides us and heals us.

Don’t hate any one.

Everyone is on their journey.

You’re not the only one in this world and the world doesn’t owe you anything.

When you realise this you can actually start to heal your wounds. You can close previous chapters. You can forgive and leave them to God and move on. You are much stronger than you’re giving yourself credit. And this is not the time and place to be getting all humble and modest.

Think about it – others have moved on and getting on in life – so what about you?

Get to know yourself again.

Get to know God again.

This is deep stuff – I know – it doesn’t happen overnight, but it’s a start right?

Once you become aware of this and focus on the purpose why Allah created you and how limited your life truly is then you won’t waste it.

Attachments are all about a need which was not fulfilled and most likely from childhood.

Seriously.

Think about it and dig deep.

Where in your life does this issue come up and with whom?

I’m not talking about today – trust me – I’ve given you a direct example of my own life.

Once you realise this – work on it and understand the context then you’ll be able to move forward.

When it happened with me I went through this process also - with Allah.

I talked to Him (swt) and asked Him to show me the way.

You need to do this for yourself and do it now.

If not you’ll always be stuck.

You’ll misunderstand love.

Love is an emotion deep within.

Allah put it there.

Don’t fight it!

Don’t be bitter against love.

That’s wrong.

Will you hate everyone and everthing?

That’s what we end up doing really!

And if it does go down the haraam road then trust me it’s something you need to look into your life.

Wait till Allah makes it halaal for you!

Why is it that we become so attached to s/he and our parents become our enemies?

Where is this coming up in your life?

Work on it and heal it.

Maybe you’ve never seen it this way before.

I hope it truly helps.

As even when you’re married your love for Allah will be more – as you know that He is the one who gives and takes and He is our Creator.

He (swt) is not here to hurt us.

We hurt ourselves.

Love yourself again if you want others to love you.

Love Allah even more and watch the doors of goodness He (swt) opens up for you.

There are numerous verses in the Qur’an about love – and I could just quote them.

All things start with us – even going to brush our teeth!

If you want to make the most of this one life Allah has given you then now is the time.

I invite you to a world of love and happiness – which is already awaiting you now.

Action Points:

1. Reflect on your life and your relationships – where can you improve and what needs to be resolved. Get on to it.

2. Learn about Allah and our purpose. Learn about RasoolAllah and his mission.

3. What do you want from your life now and whose approval are you waiting for? Be real – to yourself – and now you know what steps to take insha’Allah.

Leave me a comment and let me know what you thought about this article.

...Today I was going to give up and quit it all - all of it! I cried - a lot. Sometimes it gets really overwhelming and just too much for one soul. I made a dua in the early hours and asked Allah to show me the way. I've never been more serious about quitting than today.

Today is also the Day of Arafah. Millions of people are right now on the plains of Arafah begging for Allah's mercy and forgiveness. A day when many are guaranteed salvation from the Hell-Fire and those who return from Hajj return as a new born - sinless - a Hajj Mabroor.


I remember it clearly - like it was just today.

It was 5th March 2001 - I was on the plains of Arafah with my parents and millions of other Hujjaj.

A childhood dream come true and one of the youngest from my clan to do my Hajj. I was just 20 years old (actually, two weeks after I returned I was to turn 21 and I was in my final semester of my final year of my law degree at University).

So many dreams in the eyes of a young 20 year old.

I'm childhood ambitious. 

I have grand dreams.

Not just for myself though - i'm not that selfish.

I have grand dreams for our Ummah and for the entire humanity.

I have grand dreams which involve YOU - yes YOU reading this now.

I want to see YOU succeed in all areas of your life - in this world and the next.

I walk the talk and expect 150% ExCel Mode from myself. 

That is what I operate at.

You might say i'm too harsh on myself - or that I expect too much of myself.

You're right - I do!

I only have one life here - just one chance to work for that one vision Jannah al-Firdaus.

It all starts here though - right here - in my front room, by the fire.

It all starts in this world.

How else will you and I achieve our ultimate vision of Jannah al-Firdaus if we don't work it here.

Jannah has to be won - it won't be given to us on a plate.

On a day like Arafah when gazillions are begging for Allah's mercy and forgiveness - here I was ready to quit - today 2013.

I'm extremely sensitive.

Only my very close souls know this.

Everyone else see's the confident me.

But my close one's know how deep I am and how sensitive I am and how I take things to heart.

I don't cry in front of anyone - not my family, not my friends.

Just with Allah - and Mano (my cat).

I'm not overly emotional - like I don't burst out crying if you don't like me.

Not me! 

I may have my shy and sensitive girly side - but i'm very much tom-boyish also.

I have zero-tolerance on women and men who just cry over tiny things!

I'm the; 'Yes we can! Let's do it now' type.

So, for me to even be sharing a piece of my heart with the entire universe is deep.

This is the vulnerable me - one which you might not see again - or might see on a very rare occasion - like today.

I'm willing to give you a glimpse into my heart and soul - and be vulnerable like this whilst I have tears in my eyes.

I share with you as you may be going through your own journey, trying to find who you are and what you want to be or supposed to be doing.

You may feel lost and confused.

You're trying and trying and yet nothing is working.

No one is supporting you - like you thought they would!

Just like me you may be ready to give up.

I went to sleep crying with my dua of guidance.

 And then I woke up to a message from a sister who made dua for me and said; 

"...jazakAllahu khair for your posts they really are inspiring and I just wanted to say never give up what your doing mashaAllah. May Allah grant you a long and productive life sis and remove all your sins ameen. Don't let others negativity affect you. I know its hard but you touch more hearts than u know inshaAllah. Allah chose u for this - I don't see anyone else doing what u do and that is your calling so keep close to Allah and don't get knocked backed wen the road is so tough. Ur work is inspiring and an encouragement to others". 

I think I'm gona cry again!

This one message has taught me so much instantaneously and touched my core.

And the weird part is that this sister had no idea what i was feeling.

She is someone i met a year ago and we have the usual facebook and whatsapp contact.

This was deep.

Read her message again - it's from me to you now.

I'm ready to redirect my intention and focus.

I'm here til Allah decides my time is up.

For now - i'm staying :)


Bismillah-ExCel!

"I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious." Albert Einstein

I'm a bit like AE; 'Passionately Curious'. But you and I would agree that AE was talented indeed!

You know, we're ALL talented and God has blessed us all with unique gifts.

When we were little we believed in ourselves. We believed we were superheroes, created to save the world - here to make a difference - we believed we could fly and would prove it by jumping off the sofa, arms spread like wings and in our minds we were flying over mountains and hills and even tall buildings.

We had hopes and wishes and dreams.

'What will you be when you grow up?' Would ask the adults and we would never hesitate to say 'An Astronaut' or 'A Teacher' or ['Insert what you said here'].

And this was all when we were age 10 and under.

So, what happened?

How did our imagination suddenly go into early retirement and when did we start not believing in our dreams?

I believe this starts happening when we start secondary school at age 11 (UK system) and we get focused on school studies. Play is only at gym time and its pretty controlled. I mean you can't run around the gym hall pretending you're a superhero and that you can fly - you'd instantaneously be outcasted and declared the official class weirdo!

But I like weird - and I think I'm pretty weird and NO I didn't run around gym hall thinking I was a superhero! I went to school too AND I guess I was conditioned in the whole schooling system to stop believing in my dreams.

By the way - this post is NOT to undermine our schooling system - I shall leave that for some academic paper lol!

What happens when we stop believing in ourselves?

We don't achieve and start to live a mediocre life.

But you know something - if you've hit a certain stage and age in life (late 20's onwards) then I would strongly suggest that NOW is the time to stop and quit the excuses and to start believing again.

And believe me - I had to do that again! It was PAINFUL!

And if you're in your early years then please DO NOT give up on your dreams!

The thing is - Islam teaches us to have faith and hope and believe in ourselves. 

I mean Allah (swt) does say in the Qur'an that He most certainly will help us IF we take that all important step in helping ourselves.

You know, our pious predecessors achieved so much with so little and today you and I have so much but we waste it all - and usually on social media! (Yeah facebook).

They believed and had hope and faith! And guess what? They achieved!

The thing is we are all talk and no action and our actions are little and we believe we can't achieve.

When a fellow being believes and tries to achieve, we call them arrogant - not realising that in fact they are actually being assertive AND proactive.

We don't support each other!

We need to change that right now - you and I and start to believe again.

Yes, there will be the down days - I have them too - but we have to pull ourselves out of that rut.

I Am!

This is your new mantra from today onwards.

I Am!

And with that add all the positive things you are and want to be.

Even if it sounds fake - do it now - its just your subconscious which is trying to keep you stuck in a rut - and trust me - you don't gotta be in that rut no more.

By declaring 'I Am!' You are being assertive - not arrogant nor haughty. No, you are simply claiming back your rights of being positive again and believing in your dreams again.

Just the way we believe and have hope in God - we need to believe and have hope in all the skills, abilities and talents He (swt) has blessed us with.

Look what the Qur'an tells us and what we need to aspire towards.

"The truthful men and the truthful women, the patient men and the patient women, the humble men and the humble women, the charitable men and the charitable women, the fasting men and the fasting women, the men who guard their chastity and the women who guard their chastity, the men who remember Allah much and the women who remember Allah much - for all these Allah has prepared forgiveness and a great reward." {Qur'an 33:35}

Subhan'Allah! Amazing or what?!

And before you say; 'Oh but...'

No Buts!!! We are a working progress and each day we work towards achieving and becoming this female or male.

You can be a King or Queen and still be spiritual and upon the deen. Its all about balance. You're a King and Queen of your world, of your families, of your lives. You're worth it! God created you for greatness, so isn't it time YOU stepped into YOUR greatness?

I mean, didn't you grow up looking up to your parents and believing that they were your superheroes? And didn't you secretly wish you could be just like them when you grew up?

And what if you have younger siblings or children? Don't you want to set the best example for them? Is it going to be you they look up to or the next teen pop sensation?

Exactly! You decide right now.

Abdullah bin Umar reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, "Every one of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The leader of the people is a guardian and is responsible for his subjects: a man is the guardian of his family and is responsible for his subjects, a woman is the guardian of her husband's home and of his children and is responsible for them, and the slave of a man is a guardian of his master's property and is responsible for it. Surely, everyone of you is a shepherd and responsible for his flock."

[Bukhari & Muslim]

But I also have a feeling deep within that you did want positive role models in your life and you do want to be a role model for someone else in your life.

So, right now, I invite you to give yourself permission to be the best role model for yourself. Become the better version of you. Learn from your mistakes. In fact our mistakes are life lessons for us, full of wisdom. Say; 'I Am!'

Take this verse as an inspiration and motivation to act now.

"The servants of the Beneficent (Allah) are those who walk on the earth in humility." {Qur'an; partial; 25:63}

You too can walk on this Earth in humility and excel in your field.

You are created for greatness.

You too can dream and achieve.

Check out today's tips and action points on how to 'Unleash the I Am within YOU!'

Tips and Action Points:

1. Grab pen and paper and write all your achievements to date. I don't care how long ago it was or what it was write it down right now.

- Reflect on your achievements, give shukr to Allah as He (swt) helped you achieve and think of what you want to achieve now insha'Allah. Make a plan.

2. Create a 'Dream Team!'

- This is your own personal team of all A* players ie supporters - who will support you in your dreams and ambitions.

- Become part of someone else's active 'Dream Team' and support them to achieve.

3. Forward this post to at least one person in your life right now - trust me, this one act will have a ripple effect and you might just save a soul today! :)

And finally, here's some inspiration for you to help you believe in you again. Leave me a comment and let me know how YOU will 'Unleash the 'I Am!' within YOU!' :)

George Bernard Shaw was asked on his deathbed "What would you do if you could live your life again?"

He reflected and replied with a deep sigh "I'd be the person I could have been but never was."